I Attended My High School Reunion Last Friday

They asked me to make remarks at the beginning of the program.

Remarks I made:

"It's a night of fun, memories, schadenfreude. And because we have Federal Way High School educations, I'll point out that that's a word you can look up on the computer. And because we have Federal Way High School educations, I'll point out that the computer is that little TV with the box attached to it that don't seem to work with the REE-mote."

The Judas Priest lyric study group will not be doing their presentation tonight. They will be meeting at the regular time next week at CoCo's. This week's topic is Turbo Lover. Please wear leather wristbands.

"11:15 has been set aside for the drunken "I've always had a crush on you" confessional. I see the cheerleaders have once again formed a tight closed circle so you know where to find them."


High school classmates, then and now

Then: Mormon girl I had a crush on
Now: Former mormon and current lesbian

Then: Obnoxious football player
Now: Obnoxious sheet metal worker, 100 pounds heavier

Then: Cheerleaders (4) who found themselves fascinating and assumed everyone else did as well
Now: Same but only three of them now


Questions I asked of other people:

So were you hooked on speed at some point? (answer: No! My god, what are you talking about?)

When you got married, did you think that would take care of the lesbian thing? (answer: yes)

Who are you? (answer: Someone you went to school with for six years, my god, I can't believe you don't remember!)


Questions asked of me:

What kind of music does your radio station play (answer: It's not that kind of... see, the way public radio works is....never mind)

Did you ever go to all these parties? (answer: Nope)

Who did you hate the most? (answer: That guy riiiiiiight there. And evidently I still do)