Thursday, September 27, 2007

Things I Want to Give Up But Can't

1. Laptop use after 9pm.
2. Getting mad when people write about something that "peaked my interest" or, worse, "peeked my interest".
3. Listening to "Tired Eyes" by Neil Young relentlessly.


I have never before spoken directly to my congressman, Jim McDermott. Today I did. As part of my job. And the entirety of our conversation was about the Van Halen reunion tour.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Stories You Will Not Be Hearing On Weekend America

via BoingBoing

Monday, September 24, 2007

The Way Others See It #5

Says geminivt:
Dilbert is just great.

Also, "Fall's around the corner".

I honestly can't believe how widely that dang cup is being quoted.

Friday, September 21, 2007

I am become Wiki

Turns out I currently have a Wikipedia entry. I wonder if it will last. If it does, perhaps it paves the way to the ultimate success: fan fiction.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Thoughts Had While Reading Garfield With Charlie (Age 6)

1. This is my duty as a father, to encourage my son's interests even when there is nothing remotely funny or entertaining about Garfield.
2. Why does Garfield hate Mondays? He doesn't even have a job.
3. Jon can't hear Garfield's thoughts can he?
4. You know what's worse than Garfield? Nothing. Nothing is worse than Garfield.
5. How about his fixation at age 2 with "Barney Goes to the Pet Shop"? Cause that was pretty bad.
6. No, this is worse.
7. This is much worse.
8. Is the house that Jon and Garfield live in completely full of counters? Cause almost every strip they're in involves sitting at a counter of some sort. Are there counters on every single wall?
9. Why would any homeowner put up with even a single large mouse hole? What kind of squalor are you living in to allow a huge arched hole in your floorboard that extends up past the molding and into the wall?
10. Whither Lyman?

11. Charlie (Age 6) is reading on his own now. Why does he need me to...I shouldn't be...I mean what is the FREAKIN' POINT! my son love my son love my son.
12. Garfield's 29 years old now. Shouldn't there have been some sort of euthanasia procedure administered in the late 1990's?
13. Tonight, while the family sleeps, a run to the library and an appointment with the drop box.

14. I wonder how he'd like The Far Side?

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Did You Know...

That in some places, the act of eating in a restaurant has gone completely bananabonkers? Like in Chicago, the place that gave us great hot dogs with pickled objects served in a paper sack full of fries. Also pizza.

In Chicago, there's a place called Moto and here's an account of eating there.

The menu includes:

Lobster with freshly squeezed orange soda
French onion soup with a hot frozen crouton and a nitrogen droplet.

And also this happens:

Monday, September 17, 2007

New Polling Thingie

Over there underneath Duck. It's not that I support Chris Dodd, I just support the idea of Chris Dodd still supporting Chris Dodd. Don't stop believin'. Hold on to that fee-yeeya-lee-yin'.
The Way Others See It #4

Jay doesn't have a life. He has a LIFE. His blog is called Jays LIFE. Like others, he's quoted my Starbucks cup and shared how I see it. Here's how he sees it:
On other good news; i got my camera back! it was in shop for a little while, yesterday i was able to pick it up
Man all this stress has me all worked up! my neck really hurts lately and i know what it is. Other news The gym ... i really like going and a lot of times it helps me just get tired and go home sleep. I feel like i am making progress but i wish there was a faster way it seems its really easy to gain weight and so hard to loose it. Well it is time to go now its 5:09 and i should stop ranting

Friday, September 14, 2007

Not a Bad Likeness

Article is here.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

I Am Very Old

Here's how I know that:

1. Finally cut the damn hair. The last straw wasn't even when the hair evolved from late-era Ron Wood to Hobo Sea Captain. It was when my lovingish wife used the phrase "mid-life crisis". Thanks. Honey.

2. Our local Fox affiliate has replaced 11pm reruns of The Simpsons with reruns of Family Guy, a show I find intermittently funny and sometimes very funny but so cruel and filled with dwarf jokes that I just can't relax into it. I imagine this is what it felt like to people older than me when The Simpson started running in place of M*A*S*H or something.

3. Conversation at Indy Hipster Coffee Shop Near Where I Work:
ME: How much is that Asiago bagel?
MANAGER: The gourmet ones are $2.15
ME: That one is 95 cents up the street at (local bagel shop) where you get them from.
MANAGER: Really? I'll have to go check that out. But I bet our cream cheese is cheaper. We're the best, that's why there's always a crowd here. That's why everyone wants to be like us.
ME: (silently surveying the crowd, which consists of me and a dude in leather pants, thinking about how I didn't go to Starbucks this morning cause the line was seven people deep) And you're humble too.
MANAGER: No, we're not humble, just the best. We're like the New York Yankees!
ME: That might not be the best way to market your shop in Seattle.
MANAGER: Well, it's true!
ME: (imagining a day when the store burns to the ground and no one is hurt and somehow no one loses their livelihood and in fact they're happier than ever and I walk by and dance a small jig upon the smoldering ashes)

4. In tomorrow's Seattle Times: something I propose to do about my descent into elderliness.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

The Way Others See It #3

She's a Scorpio and she doesn't live in St. Paul, she lives in SAINT PAUL. She is Holly.
I was talking to Chris on the way to work and when I told him I was in search of Starbuck's, his response was "so that's what you spend all your money on." Supportive huh.
My cup is #280, it's a Grande, and available in Starbuckses now. Though none that I've been to.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Suggested Terrible Pizza Toppings by Charlie (Age 6)

Dead mice
Bear blood
Pizza dough ("Wait, doesn't all pizza have dough?" "No, I mean raw blobs of dough on the pizza.")
A chair
Live mice

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Attention Fellow Office Renters At The Big Complex Where I Rent An Office

Sometimes your dogs come bounding up to me in the hallways. Or the elevators. They are never, ever, ever on leashes. But apparently that's okay because, as you inform me, "they're really friendly."

But you know what? They're pit bulls. And I don't know they're friendly. And from what I know of pit bulls, I think I have cause for wariness.

Here's another fun fact: put your freakin' dog on a freakin' leash. Also, keep 'em out of the ding dang coffee shops.