Monday, November 22, 2004

A Conversation With Charlie, Age 4

HIM: And in Ice Age (a film he has never seen) the woolly mammoth fights with the saber-toothed tiger!
ME: Oh, is that what happens?
HIM: Dad, I want to have a fight party. Can we have a fight party where everyone fights?
ME: Well, you know the first rule of fight party.
HIM: What?
ME: Don't talk about fight party.
HIM: No. It's just a party where everyone fights. The woolly mammoth falls into a crack in the glacier and dies.

Monday, November 15, 2004

A Conversation in the car with Charlie, on his last day of being three years old (Saturday)

CHARLIE: I think I might throw up.
ME: Really? Seriously? Do you feel like you're going to?
CHARLIE: I don't know. Maybe.
ME: Well...uh...what do you think?
CHARLIE: I guess we'll just have to wait and find out whether I will or not.
ME: Okay. Okay.
CHARLIE: Because we'll know soon enough.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

I Was Very Spiteful at Starbucks

BARISTA: Would you like a pastry?
ME: Yes. A cinnamon twist, please.
BARISTA: Okay but you have to do the twist first!
ME: If that is a requirement, I will opt for a different pastry.
BARISTA: Oh. I was just joking. Most people do it.
ME: I'd also like a tall drip coffee. Got any jokes about that?
BARISTA: (cowed) No. No, I don't.
ME: Well then maybe you shouldn't start something that you're not prepared to finish. Maybe you should think about that before you step to me.

What a dick I was. My goodness. But then, she really shouldn't have thrown down.

Monday, November 08, 2004


Been psychically ill. I don't often do this but really, go watch the new Strongbad.