A Conversation with Charlie (Age 5) About Current Affairs
HIM: But what's the name of your book?
ME: Probably "Conservatize Me".
HIM: What does that mean?
ME: Well, I tried to be a conservative.
HIM: And what is that?
ME: Well, there are two groups of people who don't agree on how things should be run. The conservatives think there should be a smaller government and not as many rules for how you do things. At least that's, you know, the theory.
HIM: So they trust people more?
HIM: Do they like war?
ME: Lately they seem a little more interested in it than some other people do.
HIM: Well, that's not good.
(6 hours later)
HIM: Dad, where's the war?
ME: It's in Iraq. Way far away. Other side of the world.
HIM: If there was a fire at the war we couldn't see it from our house.
HIM: And it's not going to come crashing through our wall?
ME: No way.
HIM: How do you get there?
ME: You go east, I suppose. For a long long time.
HIM: Which way is east?
ME: Like toward Bellevue. But much further, of course.
HIM: If you flew over the war, it would be red.
ME: Why would it be red?
HIM: From all the shoots. Dad?
ME: Yeah, bud?
HIM: I'm a good war guy. I would be good at war.
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God. One can only hope that that last sentence of Charlie's never, ever, ever has to go beyond the purely theoretical.
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