How is Your Book Going?
Well...uh...it's like this. You know how you sometimes hear about writers struggling to end the book? And when you hear that you think Well hell, how about, I don't know, a PERIOD? So that's where I am. I'm in the last chapter. I think I have about 500-1000 words left to write. Then I need to write up about 12 one-page sidebars that will go with it. That will bring the aggregate word count to about eleventy zillion.
But that will also mean the first draft will. be. done. And then the second draft begins. And the third. And the eleventy zillionth. But after that first draft, hopefully completed this weekend, I plan to maybe have a beer or something.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Let the commencement...beginulate!
Made up words from The Simpsons. (also found everywhere online by now, no doubt)
Made up words from The Simpsons. (also found everywhere online by now, no doubt)
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Thursday, October 13, 2005
The Correspondences of Harriet Miers and George W. Bush
Can be found here. Andrew Sullivan describes it as "mutually excruciating".
Can be found here. Andrew Sullivan describes it as "mutually excruciating".
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
I Suppose I Could Eventually Stop Staring At This...
But at the moment I don't really see how. Click on him to fling him about.
But at the moment I don't really see how. Click on him to fling him about.
Some Questions About People I Observed Today
1. If you have all those Christian bumper stickers on your car and then I allow you into my lane in front of me, shouldn't you wave? Because wouldn't Jesus?
2. I know that the environmentalist group WASHPIRG is not picky about who it hires to gather signatures on petitions, but, young signature gatherer, are you already so jaded and dispirited that you're just going to sit on the curb like that?
1. If you have all those Christian bumper stickers on your car and then I allow you into my lane in front of me, shouldn't you wave? Because wouldn't Jesus?
2. I know that the environmentalist group WASHPIRG is not picky about who it hires to gather signatures on petitions, but, young signature gatherer, are you already so jaded and dispirited that you're just going to sit on the curb like that?
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
A Man's Final Wish
From the Chicago Tribune (via the estimable Matthew Baldwin)
Theodore Roosevelt Heller
Theodore Roosevelt Heller, 88, loving father of Charles (Joann) Heller; dear brother of the late Sonya (the late Jack) Steinberg. Ted was discharged from the U.S. Army during WWII due to service related injuries, and then forced his way back into the Illinois National Guard insisting no one tells him when to serve his country. Graveside services Tuesday 11 a.m. at Waldheim Jewish Cemetery (Ziditshover section), 1700 S. Harlem Ave., Chicago. In lieu of flowers, please send acerbic letters to Republicans. Arrangements by Chicago Jewish Funerals, Douglas MacIsaac, funeral director 847-229-8822, www.cjfinfo.com.
From the Chicago Tribune (via the estimable Matthew Baldwin)
Theodore Roosevelt Heller
Theodore Roosevelt Heller, 88, loving father of Charles (Joann) Heller; dear brother of the late Sonya (the late Jack) Steinberg. Ted was discharged from the U.S. Army during WWII due to service related injuries, and then forced his way back into the Illinois National Guard insisting no one tells him when to serve his country. Graveside services Tuesday 11 a.m. at Waldheim Jewish Cemetery (Ziditshover section), 1700 S. Harlem Ave., Chicago. In lieu of flowers, please send acerbic letters to Republicans. Arrangements by Chicago Jewish Funerals, Douglas MacIsaac, funeral director 847-229-8822, www.cjfinfo.com.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Thursday, October 06, 2005
How is Your Book Going?
The good parts about writing a book: the place you are reserving for yourself in history thus mitigating your anxiety about death, the advance check, the creative act of writing which can be quite fun and satisfying in so many ways.
The bad part about writing a book: how it rips your life apart.
The good parts about writing a book: the place you are reserving for yourself in history thus mitigating your anxiety about death, the advance check, the creative act of writing which can be quite fun and satisfying in so many ways.
The bad part about writing a book: how it rips your life apart.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
When the WSJ editorial page turns on you...
You've got worry.
"Even a star quarterback with years of high school and college football under his belt takes years of experience and hard knocks to develop the knowledge and instincts needed to survive in the NFL. The Supreme Court is the big league of the legal profession, and Ms. Miers has never even played the judicial equivalent of high school ball, much less won a Heisman Trophy."
You've got worry.
"Even a star quarterback with years of high school and college football under his belt takes years of experience and hard knocks to develop the knowledge and instincts needed to survive in the NFL. The Supreme Court is the big league of the legal profession, and Ms. Miers has never even played the judicial equivalent of high school ball, much less won a Heisman Trophy."
Friday, September 30, 2005
How is Your Book Going?
So what does it mean when I don't post a HiYBG update in three days? Does that mean that it's going so very well, so very very well that I haven't the time to even talk about it? Or is it going real...bad...like and I can't face up to that? I think the answer is yes. I've made it to the third week of the 30 day project and I've passed the point where I talk to the fundamentalist Kirkland pastor about gay people and now I'm at the Reagan museum, eating a huge sack of jelly bellies watching the constantly looping video of the assassination attempt (located next to the air traffic controllers strike video, also looping). I was eating the candy because I didn't realize there was a cafe there.
And so I write every day. And I'm getting there. I think. But yet, I have to think that. Actors: you know how there's that one day about a week and a half before opening when you think "My God, we open in ten days and this isn't a play at all. We're going to have to cancel this thing, tear down the posters, because this is not, in fact, viable theater"? You know that part? I think-- THINK-- that's where I am. But again, I don't know. Have never written a book.
My pal Eric Liu told me today that when he writes, he dives in and for three to seven months he writes sixteen hours a day. I'm not sure other writers live on the same planet as the rest of us.
So what does it mean when I don't post a HiYBG update in three days? Does that mean that it's going so very well, so very very well that I haven't the time to even talk about it? Or is it going real...bad...like and I can't face up to that? I think the answer is yes. I've made it to the third week of the 30 day project and I've passed the point where I talk to the fundamentalist Kirkland pastor about gay people and now I'm at the Reagan museum, eating a huge sack of jelly bellies watching the constantly looping video of the assassination attempt (located next to the air traffic controllers strike video, also looping). I was eating the candy because I didn't realize there was a cafe there.
And so I write every day. And I'm getting there. I think. But yet, I have to think that. Actors: you know how there's that one day about a week and a half before opening when you think "My God, we open in ten days and this isn't a play at all. We're going to have to cancel this thing, tear down the posters, because this is not, in fact, viable theater"? You know that part? I think-- THINK-- that's where I am. But again, I don't know. Have never written a book.
My pal Eric Liu told me today that when he writes, he dives in and for three to seven months he writes sixteen hours a day. I'm not sure other writers live on the same planet as the rest of us.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Saturday, September 24, 2005
You Ask Me Why I Love My Neighborhood Coffeeshop?
Walking in to write tonight, I crossed the street while a car drove by blasting Christian rock power ballad music.
ME: Is there anything worse in the world than Christian rock power ballads?
BARISTA: (instantly) Christian smooth jazz?
ME: Good one. Is there such a thing?
BARISTA: Yes. Oh yes.
ME: How is something like that even...allowed?
BARISTA: I don't know.
ME: Can we stop it?
BARISTA: Not under the current administration.
ME: We need to oppress Christian smooth jazz. Would you agree that we don't need less oppression, just better distribution of the oppression we got?
BARISTA: Yeah, that sounds about right.
Walking in to write tonight, I crossed the street while a car drove by blasting Christian rock power ballad music.
ME: Is there anything worse in the world than Christian rock power ballads?
BARISTA: (instantly) Christian smooth jazz?
ME: Good one. Is there such a thing?
BARISTA: Yes. Oh yes.
ME: How is something like that even...allowed?
BARISTA: I don't know.
ME: Can we stop it?
BARISTA: Not under the current administration.
ME: We need to oppress Christian smooth jazz. Would you agree that we don't need less oppression, just better distribution of the oppression we got?
BARISTA: Yeah, that sounds about right.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
A Conversation with Charlie (Age 4) About Responsibilities
HIM: Dad, when I grow up I'm going to work at the zoo.
ME: Yeah, you've mentioned that a few times.
HIM: And I'm going to take care of the jaguar.
ME: The jaguar? I thought you were going to be the bird guy.
HIM: I am. But I'll do the jaguar too.
ME: Oh. Okay.
HIM: What does the jaguar eat?
ME: Well, according to the thing we read at the zoo, it eats everything it can find. Rabbits, ducks, deer, even tapirs.
HIM: Then I'll LIIIIIIFT the tapir into the jaguar's cage and say "here jaguar!" and then he'll eat it.
ME: Sounds like a big job.
HIM: Yeah. Dad, do the jaguars eat live tapirs or dead ones?
ME: Live ones.
HIM: Oh good. Then I won't have to shoot the tapir in the head with a gun.
HIM: Dad, when I grow up I'm going to work at the zoo.
ME: Yeah, you've mentioned that a few times.
HIM: And I'm going to take care of the jaguar.
ME: The jaguar? I thought you were going to be the bird guy.
HIM: I am. But I'll do the jaguar too.
ME: Oh. Okay.
HIM: What does the jaguar eat?
ME: Well, according to the thing we read at the zoo, it eats everything it can find. Rabbits, ducks, deer, even tapirs.
HIM: Then I'll LIIIIIIFT the tapir into the jaguar's cage and say "here jaguar!" and then he'll eat it.
ME: Sounds like a big job.
HIM: Yeah. Dad, do the jaguars eat live tapirs or dead ones?
ME: Live ones.
HIM: Oh good. Then I won't have to shoot the tapir in the head with a gun.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
The Most Important Rock Band In The World Plays A Concert
So there's this band called Chicken Starship that...ah...I'm the lead singer of. We dress in chicken suits and play loud fast dumb rocky roll music. This Friday it will occur at the historic Blue Moon Tavern in Seattle. Only rocky roll loyalists are invited. Along with everyone else.
So there's this band called Chicken Starship that...ah...I'm the lead singer of. We dress in chicken suits and play loud fast dumb rocky roll music. This Friday it will occur at the historic Blue Moon Tavern in Seattle. Only rocky roll loyalists are invited. Along with everyone else.
Monday, September 19, 2005
A Conversation with Charlie (Age 4) About The Appropriateness of Humor
ME: Hey what do you guys want for breakfast?
HIM: I don't know.
ME: How about an english muffin with dirt all over it?
HIM: No.
ME: Or toast with worms? A big bowl of cereal with bugs crawling around inside?
HIM: Dad?
ME: Yeah?
HIM: Stop with all the jokeable things.
ME: The..the jokeable things?
ME: Yeah. Stop being so comic.
ME: Hey what do you guys want for breakfast?
HIM: I don't know.
ME: How about an english muffin with dirt all over it?
HIM: No.
ME: Or toast with worms? A big bowl of cereal with bugs crawling around inside?
HIM: Dad?
ME: Yeah?
HIM: Stop with all the jokeable things.
ME: The..the jokeable things?
ME: Yeah. Stop being so comic.
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