A Conversation with Charlie (Age 4) About Responsibilities

HIM: Dad, when I grow up I'm going to work at the zoo.
ME: Yeah, you've mentioned that a few times.
HIM: And I'm going to take care of the jaguar.
ME: The jaguar? I thought you were going to be the bird guy.
HIM: I am. But I'll do the jaguar too.
ME: Oh. Okay.
HIM: What does the jaguar eat?
ME: Well, according to the thing we read at the zoo, it eats everything it can find. Rabbits, ducks, deer, even tapirs.
HIM: Then I'll LIIIIIIFT the tapir into the jaguar's cage and say "here jaguar!" and then he'll eat it.
ME: Sounds like a big job.
HIM: Yeah. Dad, do the jaguars eat live tapirs or dead ones?
ME: Live ones.
HIM: Oh good. Then I won't have to shoot the tapir in the head with a gun.