Monday, November 24, 2008

Margaret (age 6 months), I have something to tell you

It has to do with spoons and food. I have decades of experience using spoons to eat food. I've had soups, cereals, yogurts of many kinds. Your dad knows about this stuff.

I was feeding you tonight. Applesauce. A classic. And you got the idea that you had this eating from a spoon thing nailed. You've been watching me do it for a while, you figured, "How hard could it be?" I held out for a while but you were persistent.

Well, it's harder than you think. Some things you should know about spoons:
1. When you tilt the spoon, the food will generally fall off.
2. After the food is eaten off the spoon, there is no more food on the spoon until you return it to the bowl.
3. The mouth is really the only place where the food goes in any substantial way.
4. Sure, the spoon is a lovely toy, I guess. Easy to hold, kind of shiny. But here's the thing: if you won't let go of the spoon and you also haven't mastered spoon technique, I can't feed you. Sure, you can complain because you're still hungry but it won't matter if you won't release the spoon.

I applaud your confidence, Margaret, I really do. You are someone who, despite crapping your pants daily and occasionally toppling over from a seated position, looks at the world and sees something that can be grabbed, controlled, ideally shoved into your mouth. But there's a gulf between believing in yourself and true accomplishment. In other words, just because you KNOW in your heart you can work a spoon, that doesn't mean you can work a spoon. I love you, Margaret, and I embrace your confidence. In general, Margaret, my point is this:
Give me the SPOON.

Okay fine. Take the spoon.


Andy Jukes said...

Very nice. As the parent of three little guys, I couldn’t have put it better.

Anonymous said...

I think this struggle may continue to be repeated. Try to be supportive.

Tina Rowley said...

Aaaa! She can have my spoon, too.

Glenn Fleishman said...

"The spoon, while a dandy instrument, is best employed as a means towards mastication, rather than with percussive intent," I said to my 19-month-old Rex this morning.

He just looked at me.

Kids these days.

Anonymous said...

Could I get that four-step checklist on some sort of laminated, waterproof card?

Lindsay Katai said...

Oh, God. She IS a hug.

Annie said...

My own red-headed baby girl is twelve. She can now use a spoon, but has trouble with a fork.

I am feeling extreme baby lust after seeing the pix of your most adorable daughter.

Hide the red headed babies..! Well, at least I have my red-headed 10-year old. [sigh]

Anonymous said...

This reminded me of the Lamentations of the Father from a long ago Prairie Home Companion.

I remember a feeding incident where I said to my cherub "Look kid, one of us is going to end up wearing this bowl. It's easier to explain to child protection if it's me."

I felt much better after a shower and shampoo.