It Would Have Been a Good Story Regardless

But the poignant little scooter makes it a classic.

Scene from the future

Spouse: What do you mean you got fired from your job?
You: Well, you see there was this game involving a yeti and a penguin and a club...

(thanks to the inevitable Dave Barry)

Political Insight Few Will Get

Joe Lieberman is the Charles Grigsby of the 2004 race.

Wow.
Just wow.

Miss Othmar Lives

I wrote this piece that appears on McSweeney's today. I hope you like it.

Nice People

David Frum is a nice person. I interviewed him today as I hosted Weekday on a local public radio station.

It's Still a Perfectly Good Question.

What have you done for Janet Jackson lately?

The O'Neill Book

Sorry, I mean the Suskind book. Suskind Suskind Suskind. Suskind wrote it. Anyway, so this O'Neill book (which I reviewed for a Large Internet Bookseller) is, I think, really really good. Well written, provocative, even kind of fun. But I was baffled by the now-famous "blind man in a room full of deaf people" quote. I was all like what the hell does that mean. Slate's Michael Kinsley, however, was more eloquently baffled in his quasi-review:
I'm sorry, but how is being uninterested in policy like being a blind man in a roomful of deaf people? Are blind people uninterested in policy? Or, more accurately, do blind people become less interested in policy when they find themselves in a room with deaf people? Does a blind man surrounded by deaf people talking policy issues think: "Oh, hell. These folks are going to go on and on and on about the problems of deaf people. Who needs that? I've got problems of my own." Is that O'Neill's point? And even if there is something about a room full of deaf people that makes a blind man disengage from policy issues, what does this have to do with President Bush and his Cabinet?

Hey!
You should read this book. I reviewed it for a large online book seller. But you should read it. It's really really good. It's about swimming but it's really not about swimming at all. It's about perseverance. But it never comes out and says that. It just says it's about swimming. And it's about how horrifyingly grody the Nile can be.

Read the book!

Another reason to love baseball

Finally the most entertaining players in the game have been codified in one handy article.

Do you suppose...

That the male former singer of The Sugarcubes walks around his Reykjavik apartment in his own crudely fashioned swam unitard and wonders where it all went wrong?

It doesn't come up often with my name...

but this is not me! Not me!

(though I can't help loving his sample line provided:
1. Harry looked dazedly down at the smoking revolver in his right hand. "My God, did I do that?"
- Untitled, fiction (sample) )

Game On

So All Things Considered on NPR ran a report last week about the trouble with online research, pointing to a student who thought Tito Puente was the former ruler of Yugoslavia (Marshall Tito). The hosts went on to suggest other world leader/musician combos: Don Ho Chi Minh, Ray Charles Taylor, and Lil' Kim Jong Il. I kind of like Lil' Jim Jong Il.

Well, game on.

Tony Blairnaked Ladies
Valery Giscard-D'eSting
Vladimir Putincubus
Andrew Jackson 5
SugarChurchill Gang
Fidel Amitri Castro
Charles Mugabe City Rollers
Jacques Chiracpile
Pervez Musharroffspring
Abraham Lincoln Park
Jean Chretienya
Tony Toni Tone' Blair
Al GWAR


I'll try to think up some more.

Late entries from Sam Goldberg:

Nat King Helmut Kohl
B.B. King Abdullah II
Yassir AraFat Joe
Ariel-Supply Sharon
50-VinCente Fox
Jay-Zemin
Beyon-Tse Tung
HirohiToto
Saddam Hussein Clown Posse
OutCastro
Mikhail GWARbechev

Wow.

I fear that all these signatures will merely be like specks of... I don't know, something....in, like, a breeze.

Passing The Time...
Until the Beastie Boys release new material, I spend time here.

I Review Books for a Large Internet Bookstore.

Here were some of my favorites of the past year:
this one
this one also
and this
this one was good too
I liked this one
Oh and this one.

But this one was just terrible.

We Got Out of Town for Christmas
To Sequim, which is on Washington's Olympic Peninsula. Rented a house, tried to get away from some or most of the seasonal insanity. Sequim is also home to the Olympic Game Farm, a sprawling stretch of land which houses yaks, llamas, zebras, buffalo, elk, and reindeer which you can feed from your car as you drive through, nervously. There's also lions, tigers, bears, coyotes, and wolves in separate facilities. Peacocks and rabbits roam about freely.
Well, we were there on the 26th at like 9 am right as it opened. We bought ten bags of bread ($5) and then drove around to feed the animals. Here's the thing: the place was closed on Christmas Day and we figure it was pretty sparsely attended on Christmas Eve. So while we're sure the animals were fed, they probably weren't given that sweet touristy junk food in like three days. So when we got there, it was like driving into the worst part of the inner city with hundred dollar bills and free handguns taped to our car. The animals were all over us. Blocking the car, bumping into the windows, and staaaaring. We got out of their two hours later having given all the bread we can. When we returned to Seattle I had to go through a special car wash to remove yak spit from the car's exterior.

This Book Won't Be Out for a While

But I'm in it. And I really really like the title.

A Poorly Constructed Joke Formed During a Recent Viewing of White Men Can't Jump

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Wesley Snipes' career
Wesley Snipes' career who?
Exactly

Meet The Mariners

The team I'm psychologically abused by on an ongoing basis, the Seattle Mariners, acquired two new players yesterday: Quinton McCracken and Scott Spiezio. Kind of non-descript as ballplayers but it turns out they're kind of interesting.
This from the story on McCracken, "McCracken, 33, was a double major at Duke University, graduating in four years with degrees in political science and history." And this on Spiezio from the newscast on KUOW yesterday, "Spiezio was quoted last night as saying, 'I've always loved Seattle. It's the birthplace of grunge, you know. I've always liked the town, the stadium's awesome and the fans are pretty dang cool.' Spiezio is a switch hitter and plays in a band named Sandfrog.