Hello. My name is John Moe.

So I was at Caribou Coffee this morning. It's a Midwest coffee chain. And the barista was serving up drinks to customers and saying stuff like, "Here you go, Tom" and "Haven't seen you in a while, Jeff" and they were saying, "Thanks, see you later, Gail".

And I thought, wow, they all know each other! What are the odds that they are all acquainted socially outside the inherently impersonal arena of coffee service? Maybe they...grew...up together?...? But then I realized that no, they had just introduced themselves properly at some point. People do that here. They have names and use them. That doesn't always happen in my native Northwest.

A couple of weeks ago, we were at a school picnic and my (Midwestern) wife introduced herself to a table full of people where Charlie (age 6) was sitting with a friend. "Hi, I'm Jill Moe," she said, "I'm Charlie and Kate's mom." Some of them smiled and said, like, "Oh."

And that was it. What's. Your. Name. ?. It's not hard, folks. I've heard similar complaints about LA. Your parents worked hard to give you that name. Use it.


Update: I refer to eating casserole in the comments. But Midwesterners have told me, politely of course and by name, that it's called "hotdish" over there. Glad I didn't even attempt the whole pop/soda thing.

Why I'm in St. Paul

For someone who makes his living doing public stuff, I realize that I don't do much self promotion on this site. The book, yes, but not much else. I think it's a combination of not wanting to come off as a self-aggrandizing jerk and also just wanting to have a place where it's not about editors and engineers and publishers and what readers/listeners/fans think.

Anyway, this week is kind of interesting. I'm hosting Weekend America all by myself this weekend. I've co-hosted it a bunch before but this is kind of a unique thing. Not that I've bound Bill Radke up in duct tape and put him in a storage locker, which I certainly have NOT, especially not in locker 5B at Fred's U-Storage near the Los Angeles airport. But it's just me this week and if you'd like to besiege American Public Media demanding I get a weekly four hour program and an 800% pay increase, well, I'm powerless to stop you.

The show can be heard here as of Saturday.

I am in St. Paul

Not the actual saint, just the Minnesota city named after him. Here's what St. Paul has:

- Big metal statues of Peanuts characters (Charles Schulz was born here, would have been cooler if he wasn't and they just decided to put them up)
- Palatial Minnesota Public Radio studios that make all other public radio facilities look like shelters for 19th century cannery workers
- Animatronic 90-foot tall Garrison Keillor that smashes cars at random
- A great radio station, The Current, which is a lot like Seattle's KEXP except I occasionally know one of the bands being played on The Current
- Lakes! Lakes! Lakes!
- Lightning!
- My heart.

We Have a Winner for Political Quote of the Year

Thanks for your entries, everyone, but John Boehner takes the prize with:

"I promised the President today that I wouldn't say anything bad about ... this piece of shit bill"

New Games Designed by Kate (Age 4) Based On Songs She Has No Business Listening To But Loves All the Same

1. "Wolfmother"
Based on the song Dimension, one of the players hides, then, when the other players come to seek, everyone screams just like they do in the song. Repeat.

2. "I Think I Smell A Rat"
Based on the song by the White Stripes, one person hides and is "the rat". Then one other person, or possibly more, looks for them while saying "I think I smell a rat!". Then the rat jumps out. Repeat.

I Don't Want to Show This to My Good Friend Sean Nelson






Lip Dub - Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger from amandalynferri on Vimeo

He doesn't need to know that his most #1-est song has been taken over by the cast of, apparently, a Fox drama about post-collegiate life.

Music Pick Wednesday!

I think this new Modest Mouse record just gets better every time I listen. I don't know why lead singer Isaac Brock decided to mostly sing like a combination of Tom Waits and Cookie Monster on a fistful of amphetamines, but I like it! They have Johnny Marr in the band now, the old guitarist for The Smiths. Who'd have thought a bunch of dudes from Issaquah would have the guy from The Smiths in their band.

Am I Notable?

I am not. At least according to this cool index of famousesque Seattle folk.

Proposed cover of paperback edition of (did I mention I wrote a) book

I like it!

Rules for Rock, Paper, Scissors as Established by Charlie (age 6)

Rock crushes scissors
Scissors cut paper
Paper covers rock but it really ought not to
Cake gets cut by scissors
Rock crushes cake
Cake stains paper
Blue whale swallows rock, scissors, and paper
Missile does not hurt blue whale because there are no missiles in this game
Jupiter obliterates blue whale
Salad loses to everything and wait there is no salad in this game either
Black holes don't count

The Old Negro Space Program

Rented For Your Consideration this week. Okay movie. I dug around on the iMDB page of it and ran across this short. It tells the story, in faux Ken Burns style, of the Old Negro Space Program. Full movie below, ten minutes but well worth your time.

3 out of 10

Tonight is Bon Jovi Night on American Idol

Other nights I would really like to see on American Idol:

Rammstein Night
Kate Bush Night
Beat Happening Night
Throat Singing Night
Gregorian Chant Night
Itsy-Bitsy Spider Night
Just Fucking Screaming As Loud As You Can Night
Kraftwerk Night
Wagner Night
Jack Wagner Night
Rick Springfield Night (Jesse's Girl not allowed)
Whistling Night
John Cage 4:33 Night

Aziz Is My Hero

For your viewing pleasure...

A long stream of David Caruso lines from the best unintentional comedy series on television: CSI Miami.

Two Things About Songs

1. Neil Young's Words (Between the Lines of Age) is freakin' awesome.

2. A couple of weeks ago I went to the Long Winters' show at the Showbox. The set closed with a cover of Feelin' Stronger Everyday. Horns and everything. If anyone has a recording of the Long Winters version, they should first listen to it and then make it available to the whole wide world. John Roderick is a beautiful man.

I Have Some Words For You:

If you are fighting the disease of depression, or even if you think you might be and you aren't sure, go get some help. Talk to a doctor. Take it very seriously. Don't just assume it will go away. And if you know someone who is fighting this, encourage them to get help also. Do it today.

On April 4th, my brother Rick lost his fight with this disease and he took his own life. The past few weeks have been hell, of course. As I write this, I've returned from his service in San Diego. I really didn't think I would write about Rick's death on this blog since that's not generally the kind of thing I do here. But it is with great resolve and all the strength I have remaining that I pledge that some hope must emerge from the wreckage of his passing. The hope is this: someone will get help, someone will find a path to better tomorrows, someone's family and friends won't go through what we've all been through.

Here was what ran in the paper. But what I'm writing here is not an obituary since this isn't the place. I offer only a plea: get help. Mental health issues are tricky because the thing that's wrong isn't as obvious as when there's a physical injury and there's still an unfortunate social stigma attached to them. Get help anyway. Just get some help. I'm leaving comments open but I really don't need any condolences. Honestly. But if you have some thoughts on leading yourself or others toward hope, please share.

Monsters of Metal Detection

Bill Wyman's post-Stones career offers this for anyone who demands their beach combing devices be approved by 97-year-old bass players.

A Conversation with Charlie (Age 6) About Sports

(Setting: in the car, listening as always to Movin 92.5, music to make you feel good. Justin Timberlake's "SexyBack" is playing. The chorus features the incessantly repeated line "Go ahead, be gone with it" but with all the engineering and funkification it sounds like "Go hippy go".)

HIM: What does she mean, "Go hippy go"?
ME: He.
HIM: He. That's a man?
ME: Yeah.
HIM: What does it mean about "Go hippy go"?
ME: Well, do you know what a hippy is? Like long haired guys, they wear a lot of brown, say "man" a lot?
HIM: Yeah, I think so.
ME: Well, people used to race them. They'd put numbers on their backs and line them up at a starting line on a race track and then see how fast the hippies would run and which hippy would come in first.
HIM: Really?
ME: And you could place bets depending on which hippy you thought would be fastest. So in the song Justin Timberlake is perhaps recalling some old hippy races he attended as a boy, the practice faded out in the early 90's due to some lawsuits resulting from injuries, and he's remembering how he used to cheer for his favorite racing hippies.
HIM: Hm. Cool.

Big Comeback Planned

I'm going to be all Elvis '68 y'all. Not sure why I've been so out of touch. Might have something to do with Charlie (age 6) reaching the point in his maturity where perhaps quoting him online all the time is somewhat discourteous. Or not. Might be the new job.
Might be the tense negotiations with Kate (age 4)
HER: Dad, can I have a guinea pig?
ME: No.
HER: Can I have one when I'm five?
ME: No.
HER: When can I have one?
ME: When you're 33, I'll buy you a guinea pig.
HER: Alright.

But I do plan to ramp up posting soon.

Meantime, I'll be in the bushes, controlling things with my mind.