Politics Loads Up On Fast Food
The not-as-amusing-as-everyone-made-it-out-to-be Subservient Chicken has now spawned (hatched?) a not-all-that-amusing-either political knock-off.
Monday, August 02, 2004
Friday, July 30, 2004
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Reasons You Should Love Semisonic
1. Closing Time is a great song. C'mon, admit it, it is.
2. Drummer Jake Slichter's new book is completely awesome. Harvard grad, rock drummer, self-deprecator.
3. I interviewed Jake today on the radio and he was a super-duper nice fella.
4. He signed the radio station's guest book "Jake Slichter, drummer for Semisonic, we had that big hit song 'Closing Time'."
1. Closing Time is a great song. C'mon, admit it, it is.
2. Drummer Jake Slichter's new book is completely awesome. Harvard grad, rock drummer, self-deprecator.
3. I interviewed Jake today on the radio and he was a super-duper nice fella.
4. He signed the radio station's guest book "Jake Slichter, drummer for Semisonic, we had that big hit song 'Closing Time'."
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Okay, It's Not Really MY Book...
But it's a book I'm in. And it's busting into the top 4000 on Amazon (as of this writing).
Also, I'm reading some stuff at an event with Dave Eggers on September1st.
But it's a book I'm in. And it's busting into the top 4000 on Amazon (as of this writing).
Also, I'm reading some stuff at an event with Dave Eggers on September1st.
Attention College Students!
Ripping off undergraduate term papers and even taking them out of context is A-OK.
Ripping off undergraduate term papers and even taking them out of context is A-OK.
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
I Hate The Interweb
Because now, for the rest of my life, no matter where I go, no matter how much I accomplish, I will ALWAYS be the dude who wrote this.
Because now, for the rest of my life, no matter where I go, no matter how much I accomplish, I will ALWAYS be the dude who wrote this.
Monday, July 12, 2004
The Hype and The Debate As To Whether Or Not To Believe It...
Regarding Roger Clemens, Seth Stevenson does not.
Regarding Roger Clemens, Seth Stevenson does not.
Thursday, July 08, 2004
Farewell to Productivity
A few months ago, I was pointing people towards the addictive Fundrace.org. Now, there's Newsmeat's Hall of Fame to further distract you from doing anything worthwhile.
A few months ago, I was pointing people towards the addictive Fundrace.org. Now, there's Newsmeat's Hall of Fame to further distract you from doing anything worthwhile.
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
At this writing...
This book is #31 on Amazon's best seller list. Due, no doubt, to the catchy title.
This book is #31 on Amazon's best seller list. Due, no doubt, to the catchy title.
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
Well okay.
It seems like a lot of Democrats are excited about this but I really don't see what John Edward brings to the ticket aside from getting cryptic advice from former presidents.
It seems like a lot of Democrats are excited about this but I really don't see what John Edward brings to the ticket aside from getting cryptic advice from former presidents.
Thursday, June 17, 2004
I've Enjoyed The Gig.
I've been reviewing books for Amazon.com for a few years now. It's given me a great chance to review some excellent books and also The Fabulist. But there's another free-lancer with lots of time on his hands who's coming on strong. How long before he leaves the customer review section and bumps me off the editorial review racket?
I've been reviewing books for Amazon.com for a few years now. It's given me a great chance to review some excellent books and also The Fabulist. But there's another free-lancer with lots of time on his hands who's coming on strong. How long before he leaves the customer review section and bumps me off the editorial review racket?
Friday, June 11, 2004
Thursday, June 10, 2004
James Taylor Will Soon Not Be Your Friend
Better start getting used to it. (I have a new piece on McSweeney's today).
Better start getting used to it. (I have a new piece on McSweeney's today).
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Conversation At Breakfast With Charlie (Age 3)
HIM: Dad! DAAAAD!
ME: What? What is it?
HIM: Who made the world?
ME: Oh. Wow. Uhhh...Well, some people say that God made the world. Some people think it was a big explosion a long time ago.
HIM: Was it the same person who painted our house?
ME: No I don't think so.
HIM: Was it the same person who made this plate?
ME: Well, maybe, yeah.
HIM: Dad! DAAAAD!
ME: What? What is it?
HIM: Who made the world?
ME: Oh. Wow. Uhhh...Well, some people say that God made the world. Some people think it was a big explosion a long time ago.
HIM: Was it the same person who painted our house?
ME: No I don't think so.
HIM: Was it the same person who made this plate?
ME: Well, maybe, yeah.
Monday, June 07, 2004
Saturday, June 05, 2004
Being Famous Is Fun!
So I hosted some radio show today. Two qualitative analyses of my performance came in. I'll summarize:
First listener: Good show
Second listener: Horrible voice, lousy voice, high voice, monotone voice, not funny, self absorbed, bad diction, dopey, not cute, moronic, sounds like he has phlegm in his mouth, just OFF, please don't let him on the air ever again.
So really, feedback was mixed.
So I hosted some radio show today. Two qualitative analyses of my performance came in. I'll summarize:
First listener: Good show
Second listener: Horrible voice, lousy voice, high voice, monotone voice, not funny, self absorbed, bad diction, dopey, not cute, moronic, sounds like he has phlegm in his mouth, just OFF, please don't let him on the air ever again.
So really, feedback was mixed.
Thursday, June 03, 2004
Friday, May 28, 2004
New Iraqi Leader Chosen
I find this one to be pretty puzzling. Granted, she has her own unique style and everyone seems to really like her. And of course, the fact that she comes from humble beginnings will make her more empathetic to the average Iraqi citizen. But I'm still disappointed that Fantasia Barrino has been named the new prime minister. I hope they at least let her finish the summer tour. Obviously Jon Peter Lewis would have been a much better fit.
I find this one to be pretty puzzling. Granted, she has her own unique style and everyone seems to really like her. And of course, the fact that she comes from humble beginnings will make her more empathetic to the average Iraqi citizen. But I'm still disappointed that Fantasia Barrino has been named the new prime minister. I hope they at least let her finish the summer tour. Obviously Jon Peter Lewis would have been a much better fit.
Thursday, May 27, 2004
A Conversation With Charlie (Age 3) In The Car Last Night (Joined Midway Through)
HIM: So we need to get another Lion King video that isn't scary.
ME: Okay, well, we'll look for that.
HIM: But I don't want to watch Brother Bear cause that's scary too. That's a little bit scary, Dad.
ME: Yeah, let's not watch that.
HIM: But you can watch it.
ME: Okay, I'll put it on my list.
HIM: You and mom can watch it. After I go to bed.
ME: Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.
(long pause of about 30 seconds)
HIM: Dad! Dad!
ME: What?! What is it?
HIM: Are we real?
HIM: So we need to get another Lion King video that isn't scary.
ME: Okay, well, we'll look for that.
HIM: But I don't want to watch Brother Bear cause that's scary too. That's a little bit scary, Dad.
ME: Yeah, let's not watch that.
HIM: But you can watch it.
ME: Okay, I'll put it on my list.
HIM: You and mom can watch it. After I go to bed.
ME: Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.
(long pause of about 30 seconds)
HIM: Dad! Dad!
ME: What?! What is it?
HIM: Are we real?
Monday, May 24, 2004
Ah, Now THAT'S Some Swedish Drama
If you haven't already, please become aware of Strindberg & Helium
If you haven't already, please become aware of Strindberg & Helium
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Monday, May 17, 2004
I Don't Often Link to George W. Bush's Website...
But this is pretty funny. Here is his "Compassion Photo Album". And it's, like, mostly of Bush touching, assisting, and lurking around black people. The Health Care section is mostly him hanging out with health care workers and sick people, the Social Security section is him making speeches about the issue and hanging out with old people but Compassion is, evidently, mostly about black people.
The LA Times had some fun with this.
But this is pretty funny. Here is his "Compassion Photo Album". And it's, like, mostly of Bush touching, assisting, and lurking around black people. The Health Care section is mostly him hanging out with health care workers and sick people, the Social Security section is him making speeches about the issue and hanging out with old people but Compassion is, evidently, mostly about black people.
The LA Times had some fun with this.
Sunday, May 16, 2004
Friday, May 14, 2004
Erroneous Sussiptions
So my 3-year-old son Charlie is trying out the word "suspect" but he chooses the very alt pronunciation "sussept" as in "I sussept I want to watch a video". Here was our conversation in the car yesterday:
HIM: Dad, I sussept that butterflies have small wings and bees have big wings.
ME: Well, I think it's the other way around. Bees have very short little wings and butterflies have really big long wings.
HIM: No, I sussept bees have long wings.
ME: You know who has really long wings? Dragonflies.
HIM: I sussept dragons turn into dragonflies. Dragons turn into dragonflies, Dad.
ME: Oh. Does butter turn into butterflies?
HIM: No. That's silly.
So my 3-year-old son Charlie is trying out the word "suspect" but he chooses the very alt pronunciation "sussept" as in "I sussept I want to watch a video". Here was our conversation in the car yesterday:
HIM: Dad, I sussept that butterflies have small wings and bees have big wings.
ME: Well, I think it's the other way around. Bees have very short little wings and butterflies have really big long wings.
HIM: No, I sussept bees have long wings.
ME: You know who has really long wings? Dragonflies.
HIM: I sussept dragons turn into dragonflies. Dragons turn into dragonflies, Dad.
ME: Oh. Does butter turn into butterflies?
HIM: No. That's silly.
Friday, May 07, 2004
But Stupid People Might Not Make It Through The Article
Jacob Weisberg of Slate has come under some criticism over the years for his cottage industry of "Bushisms". And while it's certainly true that written transcripts of things expressed verbally can make most people appear stupid, this article in Slate takes the whole "Bush is stupid" issue quite a bit deeper. Good reading. You moron.
Jacob Weisberg of Slate has come under some criticism over the years for his cottage industry of "Bushisms". And while it's certainly true that written transcripts of things expressed verbally can make most people appear stupid, this article in Slate takes the whole "Bush is stupid" issue quite a bit deeper. Good reading. You moron.
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
Monday, May 03, 2004
The #1 Choice
Eli Manning was the first overall pick in this year's NFL draft. Almost won the Heisman trophy. But now he faces a tough choice: accept the fame and riches of football or pursue his passion for web design?
Eli Manning was the first overall pick in this year's NFL draft. Almost won the Heisman trophy. But now he faces a tough choice: accept the fame and riches of football or pursue his passion for web design?
Thursday, April 29, 2004
Monday, April 26, 2004
Friday, April 23, 2004
Thursday, April 22, 2004
A Tropical Paradise
Like most people, my ultimate dream in life is a leisurely cruise with Ed Gillespie and Dinesh D'Souza. Of course, if Kerry wins this would be a pretty interesting cruise to take.
Like most people, my ultimate dream in life is a leisurely cruise with Ed Gillespie and Dinesh D'Souza. Of course, if Kerry wins this would be a pretty interesting cruise to take.
Talk About Being On Message!
Via the estimable Wonkette:
The U.S. Treasury says:
"America has a choice: It can continue to grow the economy and create new jobs as the President's policies are doing; or it can raise taxes on American families and small businesses, hurting economic recovery and future job creation."
And the RNC also says:
"America has a choice: It can continue to grow the economy and create new jobs as the President's polices are doing; or it can raise taxes on American families and small businesses, hurting economic recovery and future job creation."
Great minds think alike, no? Or something. OK, OK, you could call this using taxpayer money to produce campaign literature. We prefer to think of it as thrifty. Of course, some people think of it as illegal. Whatever.
Via the estimable Wonkette:
The U.S. Treasury says:
"America has a choice: It can continue to grow the economy and create new jobs as the President's policies are doing; or it can raise taxes on American families and small businesses, hurting economic recovery and future job creation."
And the RNC also says:
"America has a choice: It can continue to grow the economy and create new jobs as the President's polices are doing; or it can raise taxes on American families and small businesses, hurting economic recovery and future job creation."
Great minds think alike, no? Or something. OK, OK, you could call this using taxpayer money to produce campaign literature. We prefer to think of it as thrifty. Of course, some people think of it as illegal. Whatever.
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
Why Do I Love FOX?
I mean the TV network, not the one with Hannity & Oates. Here's why:
Fox has announced it will debut six series in June. Four of the new series will be scripted, including "Quintuplets," with Andy Richter as the father of 15-year-old quints, and "Method & Red," an update of "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" with rappers Method Man and Redman.
I mean the TV network, not the one with Hannity & Oates. Here's why:
Fox has announced it will debut six series in June. Four of the new series will be scripted, including "Quintuplets," with Andy Richter as the father of 15-year-old quints, and "Method & Red," an update of "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" with rappers Method Man and Redman.
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
The World Situation
Iraq is a mess, Israel/Palestine is worse, terrorism is only growing larger. But fortunately, there is a solution.
Iraq is a mess, Israel/Palestine is worse, terrorism is only growing larger. But fortunately, there is a solution.
Friday, April 16, 2004
Did I get Richard Clarke a movie deal?
Seriously.
Okay, of course I didn't, but this Hollywood Reporter article quotes my review of his book in announcing the movie rights.
Then things get weirder still. That quote has been picked up by conservative blogs. They take it, I think, as me implying that Clarke made everything up. I mean, it's fine. Use me to prove your point if you want. But please don't imply that I'm characterizing Clarke's book as fiction. Cause I'm not. I'm just saying it's an exciting book. Cause it is.
Seriously.
Okay, of course I didn't, but this Hollywood Reporter article quotes my review of his book in announcing the movie rights.
Then things get weirder still. That quote has been picked up by conservative blogs. They take it, I think, as me implying that Clarke made everything up. I mean, it's fine. Use me to prove your point if you want. But please don't imply that I'm characterizing Clarke's book as fiction. Cause I'm not. I'm just saying it's an exciting book. Cause it is.
And the winner...
For best use of a jpg in political satire goes to Matthew Baldwin at The Morning News.
For best use of a jpg in political satire goes to Matthew Baldwin at The Morning News.
Thursday, April 15, 2004
A Bunch of Hamsters Make Beautiful Music
No, it's not the Hamster Dance. It's this crazy MIDI thing at Cornell University. Never let that dude from Creed tell you that making music is hard. Hamsters can do it. And do it well.
No, it's not the Hamster Dance. It's this crazy MIDI thing at Cornell University. Never let that dude from Creed tell you that making music is hard. Hamsters can do it. And do it well.
Freaky Album Covers
They're the meat and potatoes of blogs like this. So eat up! (thanks to Jeannie Yandel who has a blog somewhere)
They're the meat and potatoes of blogs like this. So eat up! (thanks to Jeannie Yandel who has a blog somewhere)
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Veep-o-matic
Apparently, I think Wesley Clark should be the VP nominee. Except for the fact that I don't really think so. But that's what the Veep-o-matic says I think I feel. What do you think?
Apparently, I think Wesley Clark should be the VP nominee. Except for the fact that I don't really think so. But that's what the Veep-o-matic says I think I feel. What do you think?
Friday, April 09, 2004
I Have a New Best Friend
And it's the public radio series Pop Vultures. You can listen to it on your computer too!
And it's the public radio series Pop Vultures. You can listen to it on your computer too!
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
And no more Barenaked Ladies records either!
Guess what part of the pool is easiest to drown in? Yep! The deep end! Yet, that's the same end that the DOJ has decided to go off.
Guess what part of the pool is easiest to drown in? Yep! The deep end! Yet, that's the same end that the DOJ has decided to go off.
Thursday, April 01, 2004
Update on White House Lies
Apparently, CNN was just being lazy. Or so the White House would have us believe.
Apparently, CNN was just being lazy. Or so the White House would have us believe.
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Remember This:
The Republican political machine is flawless. They anticipate every possible problem and are ready to preempt any opposition. They operate in a tight circle and information never gets out of that tiny perimeter.
Also, they left their notes in a Starbucks.
The Republican political machine is flawless. They anticipate every possible problem and are ready to preempt any opposition. They operate in a tight circle and information never gets out of that tiny perimeter.
Also, they left their notes in a Starbucks.
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Got a review of that book
You know, the one people find interesting. It's a really good book, actually.
Of course, I've reviewed interesting things before.
You know, the one people find interesting. It's a really good book, actually.
Of course, I've reviewed interesting things before.
Thursday, March 25, 2004
Yep, that's hi-larious.
Bush spoke at the correspondent's dinner and made a little film. Sounds like a laff riot. The Democrats sure thought so.
Bush spoke at the correspondent's dinner and made a little film. Sounds like a laff riot. The Democrats sure thought so.
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Friday, March 19, 2004
More Rejected NPR Commentaries
Springtime is here and for me that means one thing: fantasy baseball! Time to draft my fantasy team and gear up for the fantasy season. And once again, I was able to get every player I wanted! The other people in my league picked guys like Alfonso Soriano, Andy Pettite, Eric Gagne. Nice players but we're talking fantasy baseball. Is Eric Gagne really a part of anyone's fantasy?
This may be the best fantasy team I've ever fielded. Here's the lineup:
Fantasy pitcher - the pitcher from the poem Casey at the Bat. Think about it: he throws three consecutive strikes to the greatest hitter in the game! Doesn't try to fool him with junk outside the strike zone. Goes after Casey, gets the strikeout. Such moxie! That guy, whatever his name is, he's on my fantasy team.
Fantasy catcher - Crash Davis. The Kevin Costner character from Bull Durham. Great with younger players, witty, articulate, good clubhouse guy. And it's Costner in his prime before he started looking like he ate bad fish all the time. In fact, Crash Davis is the only movie character on my fantasy team. Roy Hobbs from "The Natural"? Just seems like such a downer. Field of Dreams ghost players? Too spooky. Comical cast of bumblers from "Major League"? I suspect their antics would grow tiresome.
Fantasy first baseman - Gandalf
Fantasy second baseman - Jaclyn Smith. Okay, sentimental pick. But when you have a fantasy player that you've been with a long time, you stick with them. Builds morale.
Fantasy third baseman - A healthy Aaron Boone. If Boone hadn't blown out his knee this offseason, the Yankees would never have traded for Alex Rodriguez thus revealing the universe to be a cruel chaotic place where treachery alone reigns. But on my fantasy team, Aaron Boone never hurt his knee and all is well. I love fantasy baseball!
Fantasy shortstop - A magical unicorn.
Fantasy left fielder - Ted Williams. Circa 1941. He hit .406 that year, dominated the American League. And he was all in one piece and respected. My fantasy is for that to still be the case. I don't know how well Ted will get along with the unicorn but a little tension might be good in the clubhouse.
Fantasy center fielder - John Fogerty. I've been listening to him beg to be put in center field for years. I'm going to give him that chance. It's his fantasy AND mine. I figure he'll hustle if nothing else. And entertain the team on fantasy road trips.
Fantasy right fielder- a bucket of steroids! They're not much for fielding but I'm told they've led to tons of home runs the last few years. As the fantasy general manager, I'm willing to accept the inherent risks.
So that's my fantasy team: unnamed Casey at the bat pitcher guy, Crash Davis, Gandalf, Jaclyn Smith, magical unicorn, Ted Williams, John Fogerty, and a bucket of steroids. And I'll see you at the fantasy ballpark!
Springtime is here and for me that means one thing: fantasy baseball! Time to draft my fantasy team and gear up for the fantasy season. And once again, I was able to get every player I wanted! The other people in my league picked guys like Alfonso Soriano, Andy Pettite, Eric Gagne. Nice players but we're talking fantasy baseball. Is Eric Gagne really a part of anyone's fantasy?
This may be the best fantasy team I've ever fielded. Here's the lineup:
Fantasy pitcher - the pitcher from the poem Casey at the Bat. Think about it: he throws three consecutive strikes to the greatest hitter in the game! Doesn't try to fool him with junk outside the strike zone. Goes after Casey, gets the strikeout. Such moxie! That guy, whatever his name is, he's on my fantasy team.
Fantasy catcher - Crash Davis. The Kevin Costner character from Bull Durham. Great with younger players, witty, articulate, good clubhouse guy. And it's Costner in his prime before he started looking like he ate bad fish all the time. In fact, Crash Davis is the only movie character on my fantasy team. Roy Hobbs from "The Natural"? Just seems like such a downer. Field of Dreams ghost players? Too spooky. Comical cast of bumblers from "Major League"? I suspect their antics would grow tiresome.
Fantasy first baseman - Gandalf
Fantasy second baseman - Jaclyn Smith. Okay, sentimental pick. But when you have a fantasy player that you've been with a long time, you stick with them. Builds morale.
Fantasy third baseman - A healthy Aaron Boone. If Boone hadn't blown out his knee this offseason, the Yankees would never have traded for Alex Rodriguez thus revealing the universe to be a cruel chaotic place where treachery alone reigns. But on my fantasy team, Aaron Boone never hurt his knee and all is well. I love fantasy baseball!
Fantasy shortstop - A magical unicorn.
Fantasy left fielder - Ted Williams. Circa 1941. He hit .406 that year, dominated the American League. And he was all in one piece and respected. My fantasy is for that to still be the case. I don't know how well Ted will get along with the unicorn but a little tension might be good in the clubhouse.
Fantasy center fielder - John Fogerty. I've been listening to him beg to be put in center field for years. I'm going to give him that chance. It's his fantasy AND mine. I figure he'll hustle if nothing else. And entertain the team on fantasy road trips.
Fantasy right fielder- a bucket of steroids! They're not much for fielding but I'm told they've led to tons of home runs the last few years. As the fantasy general manager, I'm willing to accept the inherent risks.
So that's my fantasy team: unnamed Casey at the bat pitcher guy, Crash Davis, Gandalf, Jaclyn Smith, magical unicorn, Ted Williams, John Fogerty, and a bucket of steroids. And I'll see you at the fantasy ballpark!
Thursday, March 18, 2004
Oh My
Well, I'll just be here all day long. Find out who in your neighborhood gave how much to what candidate! Search by celebrity last names! Preliminary findings: Josh Malina (West Wing) is a Gephardt man, Jennifer Garner is Edwards AND Gephardt, Michael Eisner favors Kerry, Paul Reiser likes Dean, Jerry Seinfeld digs Kerry AND Clark. Retired North Carolina basketball coach Dean Smith, not surprisingly, goes with Edwards.
Well, I'll just be here all day long. Find out who in your neighborhood gave how much to what candidate! Search by celebrity last names! Preliminary findings: Josh Malina (West Wing) is a Gephardt man, Jennifer Garner is Edwards AND Gephardt, Michael Eisner favors Kerry, Paul Reiser likes Dean, Jerry Seinfeld digs Kerry AND Clark. Retired North Carolina basketball coach Dean Smith, not surprisingly, goes with Edwards.
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Everything is Circular.
Tonight on some radio show I do, I talked to Anita Rowland and Markos Moulitsas Zuniga. They're nice. Also talked to Jim Copacino, who is not a blogger and who is also nice. Last night on some radio station, an interview I did with Eric Stoltz was also on the air. He was nice too.
Tonight on some radio show I do, I talked to Anita Rowland and Markos Moulitsas Zuniga. They're nice. Also talked to Jim Copacino, who is not a blogger and who is also nice. Last night on some radio station, an interview I did with Eric Stoltz was also on the air. He was nice too.
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Conversation with 3-year-old son at the zoo yesterday
HIM: Daddy, what comes after birds?
ME: Birds?
HIM: Yeah. What comes after them?
ME: Where...uh...what birds do you mean?
HIM: Birds! Birds in the sky! Birds!
ME: Oh. Right. Birds.
HIM: What comes after them?
ME: Oh. (pause) I don't know.
HIM: Do you want to be a family of wallabies?
ME: Yeah, okay.
HIM: Daddy, what comes after birds?
ME: Birds?
HIM: Yeah. What comes after them?
ME: Where...uh...what birds do you mean?
HIM: Birds! Birds in the sky! Birds!
ME: Oh. Right. Birds.
HIM: What comes after them?
ME: Oh. (pause) I don't know.
HIM: Do you want to be a family of wallabies?
ME: Yeah, okay.
I'm Watching Prince on the Ellen Show...
And you know what? He looks like a young female account executive. Bobbed haircut with sassy bangs, sleeveless black turtleneck, multiple ear piercings. Could be named Kristi. Could work in promotions at a radio station. Could meet up with the girls from Theta out at TGI Friday's for a long-standing Mai-Tai night, could date a guy named Brad who's a hot shot in sales. Maybe she's in marketing. Or maybe she's a leasing agent. But it's not Kristi. It's Prince.
And you know what? He looks like a young female account executive. Bobbed haircut with sassy bangs, sleeveless black turtleneck, multiple ear piercings. Could be named Kristi. Could work in promotions at a radio station. Could meet up with the girls from Theta out at TGI Friday's for a long-standing Mai-Tai night, could date a guy named Brad who's a hot shot in sales. Maybe she's in marketing. Or maybe she's a leasing agent. But it's not Kristi. It's Prince.
Monday, March 01, 2004
I Mostly Just Speak English
But I will say this: Viva Dio! He speaks for America in a high pitched screech and that's why he should be president.
But I will say this: Viva Dio! He speaks for America in a high pitched screech and that's why he should be president.
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Silly Things Coming Back Soon
But first, this is a darn good editorial cartoon (saw it on Calpundit).
But first, this is a darn good editorial cartoon (saw it on Calpundit).
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Quizno's Thingies from the commercials
Yes, I love them too. Just like the guy in Slate.
But if you're ready for something more complex from the same source, try this.
Yes, I love them too. Just like the guy in Slate.
But if you're ready for something more complex from the same source, try this.
Friday, February 20, 2004
RECENT AP WIRE HEADLINES WITHIN A ONE DAY PERIOD
Rockslide
Double Slaying
Sexual Contact
Woman Bludgeoned
Cab Driver Killed
Workplace Shooting
Warehouse Fire
Crushed Between Trucks
Wife Slaying
Fatal Beating
Domestic Stabbing
Mad Cow Emergency
Manitoba Update
Leukemia Scam
Man Frozen
Nurse Jailed
Avalanche Fatal
Dennis Kucinich
Rockslide
Double Slaying
Sexual Contact
Woman Bludgeoned
Cab Driver Killed
Workplace Shooting
Warehouse Fire
Crushed Between Trucks
Wife Slaying
Fatal Beating
Domestic Stabbing
Mad Cow Emergency
Manitoba Update
Leukemia Scam
Man Frozen
Nurse Jailed
Avalanche Fatal
Dennis Kucinich
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Rejected NPR Commentaries (a semi-regular feature)
I watched President Bush campaigning the other day at the Daytona 500. Well, I should say that I read an article about it, later, on the Internet. Though I am the father of two, I am not a NASCAR fan, therefore not a coveted "NASCAR Dad", and therefore shunned by the candidates in this year's presidential election.
But I am a part of a different voting bloc, one whose numbers and power are ignored at the candidates' own peril. I am a "Waiting For A New Beastie Boys Record Dad". It's been six years now since 1998's Hello Nasty, we're disoriented, we're antsy, and we need something-someone!-to believe in.
A little history: me and my fellow Waiting For A New Beastie Boys Record Dads picked up the Beasties' breakout Licensed to Ill when we were in high school, maybe college, maybe junior high, back in 1986 and it blew our minds. Here were these guys-these dorks!-who looked like they could be us but were so much more impossibly awesome. We developed heterosexual man crushes. Our formative adult years were punctuated with well-spaced releases from MCA, Ad-Rock, and Mike D. As we grew older, their music likewise became more mature while still maintaining the kind of playful recklessness that we, the ones who are now Waiting For A New Beastie Boys Record Dads, honestly always lacked but heartily admired nonetheless.
But then, as our 20's ebbed away, and kids started appearing along with their obligatory and incessant Raffi CDs, and middle age loomed, the Beastie Boys stopped. And we became a demographic. A hungry, lonely, desperate demographic. Just look in the eyes of any dad loading a screaming toddler into a minivan. I mean really look at the guy. He's one. We're everywhere. Come get us.
And the thing is, it would be easy for the candidates to incorporate an appeal into their existing styles. Bush could declare, squinting, that he knows the Beasties have been developing material for years and he's going to march in and get it recorded, with or without the UN. Edwards could call upon his trial lawyer experience and long record of helping common folks fight for their right to party. And though it might be risky, Kerry could hurl old copies of Beasties classics like Paul's Boutique and Check Your Head over a fence to send a message that they just aren't good enough any more. Of course, any of the contenders could also promise to nominate Ad-Rock to be Secretary of Illin'. Sure, the pundits would scoff. But that shrewd campaigner would win the vote of every single Waiting For A New Beastie Boys Record Dad across this great nation of ours.
I watched President Bush campaigning the other day at the Daytona 500. Well, I should say that I read an article about it, later, on the Internet. Though I am the father of two, I am not a NASCAR fan, therefore not a coveted "NASCAR Dad", and therefore shunned by the candidates in this year's presidential election.
But I am a part of a different voting bloc, one whose numbers and power are ignored at the candidates' own peril. I am a "Waiting For A New Beastie Boys Record Dad". It's been six years now since 1998's Hello Nasty, we're disoriented, we're antsy, and we need something-someone!-to believe in.
A little history: me and my fellow Waiting For A New Beastie Boys Record Dads picked up the Beasties' breakout Licensed to Ill when we were in high school, maybe college, maybe junior high, back in 1986 and it blew our minds. Here were these guys-these dorks!-who looked like they could be us but were so much more impossibly awesome. We developed heterosexual man crushes. Our formative adult years were punctuated with well-spaced releases from MCA, Ad-Rock, and Mike D. As we grew older, their music likewise became more mature while still maintaining the kind of playful recklessness that we, the ones who are now Waiting For A New Beastie Boys Record Dads, honestly always lacked but heartily admired nonetheless.
But then, as our 20's ebbed away, and kids started appearing along with their obligatory and incessant Raffi CDs, and middle age loomed, the Beastie Boys stopped. And we became a demographic. A hungry, lonely, desperate demographic. Just look in the eyes of any dad loading a screaming toddler into a minivan. I mean really look at the guy. He's one. We're everywhere. Come get us.
And the thing is, it would be easy for the candidates to incorporate an appeal into their existing styles. Bush could declare, squinting, that he knows the Beasties have been developing material for years and he's going to march in and get it recorded, with or without the UN. Edwards could call upon his trial lawyer experience and long record of helping common folks fight for their right to party. And though it might be risky, Kerry could hurl old copies of Beasties classics like Paul's Boutique and Check Your Head over a fence to send a message that they just aren't good enough any more. Of course, any of the contenders could also promise to nominate Ad-Rock to be Secretary of Illin'. Sure, the pundits would scoff. But that shrewd campaigner would win the vote of every single Waiting For A New Beastie Boys Record Dad across this great nation of ours.
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
Sorry!
Been down for a while. Uh...cause.
Sorry.
It's been rough for Outkast lately. First, the unbelievably stupid theme at the Grammy Awards. And now, their large implicit sponsor is calling their claims into question.
Been down for a while. Uh...cause.
Sorry.
It's been rough for Outkast lately. First, the unbelievably stupid theme at the Grammy Awards. And now, their large implicit sponsor is calling their claims into question.
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
I empathize with Joe Lieberman. Because I am a Seattle sports fan.
Lieberman is a smart well-respected guy, who came close, but not all that close, to getting the Democratic nomination this year. The Seattle Seahawks, Mariners, and Sonics usually field decent teams that sometimes get into the playoffs where they generally lose.
John Kerry is authentically Bostonian. Like the Celtics, he seemed destined a year or so ago to be triumphant in the primaries and coast to the nomination. Like the Red Sox, he then seemed to have all the ingredients but none of the luck, destined to flop. Then, like the Patriots, he started piling up wins and heading for the Super Bowl. Big ups, crushing downs.
In Seattle, we watch this ecstasy and agony and wish we could be a part of it. Instead, we never win it all or end up as colossally glorious failures. The Seahawks made the NFL playoffs this year but lost in the first round to Green Bay. The Mariners had a winning season but failed to qualify for the post-season. The Sonics, lead by players regarded as pretty good, win about as many games as they lose and don’t seem likely to change that pattern in my lifetime. Having followed these teams my whole life, the candidacy of Joe Lieberman makes perfect sense to me. Like Lieberman, Seattle sports teams show up, do okay, and then just sort of wither. It’s the curse of mediocrity.
Lieberman and my teams are not alone in this cursed position. You could find tons of examples of things and people that fit this mold: the movie career of Jeff Goldblum. Celery. Any Cheap Trick album after Live at Budokan. The Mariners, Sonics, Seahawks, and Lieberman fit this oeuvre nicely. Corduroy fabric, Dabney Coleman, Fresca, a 9:30 CBS sitcom, Lime flavored anything, Art Garfunkel. It’s no coincidence that Lieberman staked his candidacy on doing well in Delaware. Delaware is so Lieberman.
What makes this purgatory so hard for Seattle fans and Liebermaniacs – I doubt they really call themselves that but they should—is that drama is the one thing you really want in sports and presidential politics. I mean, why else watch?
So now Lieberman is out and he goes back to his position of pretty good Senator from Connecticut. And I’m through rooting for my teams to either win it all or fail in spectacular appalling entertaining ways because that’s just not going to happen. I think I’ll start referring to the Sonics, Mariners, and Seahawks as, collectively, the Seattle Liebermans. Or Liebermen. Who knows? Maybe they’ll even pick up some Joe-mentum.
Lieberman is a smart well-respected guy, who came close, but not all that close, to getting the Democratic nomination this year. The Seattle Seahawks, Mariners, and Sonics usually field decent teams that sometimes get into the playoffs where they generally lose.
John Kerry is authentically Bostonian. Like the Celtics, he seemed destined a year or so ago to be triumphant in the primaries and coast to the nomination. Like the Red Sox, he then seemed to have all the ingredients but none of the luck, destined to flop. Then, like the Patriots, he started piling up wins and heading for the Super Bowl. Big ups, crushing downs.
In Seattle, we watch this ecstasy and agony and wish we could be a part of it. Instead, we never win it all or end up as colossally glorious failures. The Seahawks made the NFL playoffs this year but lost in the first round to Green Bay. The Mariners had a winning season but failed to qualify for the post-season. The Sonics, lead by players regarded as pretty good, win about as many games as they lose and don’t seem likely to change that pattern in my lifetime. Having followed these teams my whole life, the candidacy of Joe Lieberman makes perfect sense to me. Like Lieberman, Seattle sports teams show up, do okay, and then just sort of wither. It’s the curse of mediocrity.
Lieberman and my teams are not alone in this cursed position. You could find tons of examples of things and people that fit this mold: the movie career of Jeff Goldblum. Celery. Any Cheap Trick album after Live at Budokan. The Mariners, Sonics, Seahawks, and Lieberman fit this oeuvre nicely. Corduroy fabric, Dabney Coleman, Fresca, a 9:30 CBS sitcom, Lime flavored anything, Art Garfunkel. It’s no coincidence that Lieberman staked his candidacy on doing well in Delaware. Delaware is so Lieberman.
What makes this purgatory so hard for Seattle fans and Liebermaniacs – I doubt they really call themselves that but they should—is that drama is the one thing you really want in sports and presidential politics. I mean, why else watch?
So now Lieberman is out and he goes back to his position of pretty good Senator from Connecticut. And I’m through rooting for my teams to either win it all or fail in spectacular appalling entertaining ways because that’s just not going to happen. I think I’ll start referring to the Sonics, Mariners, and Seahawks as, collectively, the Seattle Liebermans. Or Liebermen. Who knows? Maybe they’ll even pick up some Joe-mentum.
Super Bowl II
I don't care how CBS and Justin Timberlake try to spin it like it was an accident, I think it was totally inappropriate to "accidentally" rip off Janet Jackson's emotional exterior and reveal her beast. I know that these days people trot out their beasts all the time. Heck, if you pick up the Ambercomber Finks catalog it's full of nubile women and their jackals, wolverines, wild boars, and shrews. I think she should only show her beasts to her husband DeBarge. And besides, isn't a beast more enticing when we don't know what it looks like? We could imagine that Janet might have had a hedgehog or a lemur or an ocelot down there. But instead they go and reveal her beast on national television: a badger. It's not sexy and not right for TV.
I don't care how CBS and Justin Timberlake try to spin it like it was an accident, I think it was totally inappropriate to "accidentally" rip off Janet Jackson's emotional exterior and reveal her beast. I know that these days people trot out their beasts all the time. Heck, if you pick up the Ambercomber Finks catalog it's full of nubile women and their jackals, wolverines, wild boars, and shrews. I think she should only show her beasts to her husband DeBarge. And besides, isn't a beast more enticing when we don't know what it looks like? We could imagine that Janet might have had a hedgehog or a lemur or an ocelot down there. But instead they go and reveal her beast on national television: a badger. It's not sexy and not right for TV.
Monday, February 02, 2004
Super Bowl
I don't care how CBS and Justin Timberlake try to spin it like it was an accident, I think it was totally inappropriate to "accidentally" rip off Janet Jackson's emotional exterior and reveal her soul. I know that these days you can see people's souls in movies all the time and, heck, even in the Abercromber Finch catalog but I guess I'm old fashioned. I think she should only share her soul with her husband DeBarge. And besides, isn't a soul more enticing when we don't know what it looks like? We could imagine that Janet's soul contained a longing for freedom from the constraints of celebrity or a virulent hatred of dogs (I'm just blue-skying here). But instead they go and reveal her soul on national television. It's not sexy and not right for TV.
I don't care how CBS and Justin Timberlake try to spin it like it was an accident, I think it was totally inappropriate to "accidentally" rip off Janet Jackson's emotional exterior and reveal her soul. I know that these days you can see people's souls in movies all the time and, heck, even in the Abercromber Finch catalog but I guess I'm old fashioned. I think she should only share her soul with her husband DeBarge. And besides, isn't a soul more enticing when we don't know what it looks like? We could imagine that Janet's soul contained a longing for freedom from the constraints of celebrity or a virulent hatred of dogs (I'm just blue-skying here). But instead they go and reveal her soul on national television. It's not sexy and not right for TV.
Thursday, January 29, 2004
Scene from the future
Spouse: What do you mean you got fired from your job?
You: Well, you see there was this game involving a yeti and a penguin and a club...
(thanks to the inevitable Dave Barry)
Spouse: What do you mean you got fired from your job?
You: Well, you see there was this game involving a yeti and a penguin and a club...
(thanks to the inevitable Dave Barry)
Monday, January 26, 2004
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Nice People
David Frum is a nice person. I interviewed him today as I hosted Weekday on a local public radio station.
David Frum is a nice person. I interviewed him today as I hosted Weekday on a local public radio station.
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
Friday, January 16, 2004
The O'Neill Book
Sorry, I mean the Suskind book. Suskind Suskind Suskind. Suskind wrote it. Anyway, so this O'Neill book (which I reviewed for a Large Internet Bookseller) is, I think, really really good. Well written, provocative, even kind of fun. But I was baffled by the now-famous "blind man in a room full of deaf people" quote. I was all like what the hell does that mean. Slate's Michael Kinsley, however, was more eloquently baffled in his quasi-review:
I'm sorry, but how is being uninterested in policy like being a blind man in a roomful of deaf people? Are blind people uninterested in policy? Or, more accurately, do blind people become less interested in policy when they find themselves in a room with deaf people? Does a blind man surrounded by deaf people talking policy issues think: "Oh, hell. These folks are going to go on and on and on about the problems of deaf people. Who needs that? I've got problems of my own." Is that O'Neill's point? And even if there is something about a room full of deaf people that makes a blind man disengage from policy issues, what does this have to do with President Bush and his Cabinet?
Sorry, I mean the Suskind book. Suskind Suskind Suskind. Suskind wrote it. Anyway, so this O'Neill book (which I reviewed for a Large Internet Bookseller) is, I think, really really good. Well written, provocative, even kind of fun. But I was baffled by the now-famous "blind man in a room full of deaf people" quote. I was all like what the hell does that mean. Slate's Michael Kinsley, however, was more eloquently baffled in his quasi-review:
I'm sorry, but how is being uninterested in policy like being a blind man in a roomful of deaf people? Are blind people uninterested in policy? Or, more accurately, do blind people become less interested in policy when they find themselves in a room with deaf people? Does a blind man surrounded by deaf people talking policy issues think: "Oh, hell. These folks are going to go on and on and on about the problems of deaf people. Who needs that? I've got problems of my own." Is that O'Neill's point? And even if there is something about a room full of deaf people that makes a blind man disengage from policy issues, what does this have to do with President Bush and his Cabinet?
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
Hey!
You should read this book. I reviewed it for a large online book seller. But you should read it. It's really really good. It's about swimming but it's really not about swimming at all. It's about perseverance. But it never comes out and says that. It just says it's about swimming. And it's about how horrifyingly grody the Nile can be.
Read the book!
You should read this book. I reviewed it for a large online book seller. But you should read it. It's really really good. It's about swimming but it's really not about swimming at all. It's about perseverance. But it never comes out and says that. It just says it's about swimming. And it's about how horrifyingly grody the Nile can be.
Read the book!
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Another reason to love baseball
Finally the most entertaining players in the game have been codified in one handy article.
Finally the most entertaining players in the game have been codified in one handy article.
It doesn't come up often with my name...
but this is not me! Not me!
(though I can't help loving his sample line provided:
1. Harry looked dazedly down at the smoking revolver in his right hand. "My God, did I do that?"
- Untitled, fiction (sample) )
but this is not me! Not me!
(though I can't help loving his sample line provided:
1. Harry looked dazedly down at the smoking revolver in his right hand. "My God, did I do that?"
- Untitled, fiction (sample) )
Monday, January 05, 2004
Game On
So All Things Considered on NPR ran a report last week about the trouble with online research, pointing to a student who thought Tito Puente was the former ruler of Yugoslavia (Marshall Tito). The hosts went on to suggest other world leader/musician combos: Don Ho Chi Minh, Ray Charles Taylor, and Lil' Kim Jong Il. I kind of like Lil' Jim Jong Il.
Well, game on.
Tony Blairnaked Ladies
Valery Giscard-D'eSting
Vladimir Putincubus
Andrew Jackson 5
SugarChurchill Gang
Fidel Amitri Castro
Charles Mugabe City Rollers
Jacques Chiracpile
Pervez Musharroffspring
Abraham Lincoln Park
Jean Chretienya
Tony Toni Tone' Blair
Al GWAR
I'll try to think up some more.
Late entries from Sam Goldberg:
Nat King Helmut Kohl
B.B. King Abdullah II
Yassir AraFat Joe
Ariel-Supply Sharon
50-VinCente Fox
Jay-Zemin
Beyon-Tse Tung
HirohiToto
Saddam Hussein Clown Posse
OutCastro
Mikhail GWARbechev
So All Things Considered on NPR ran a report last week about the trouble with online research, pointing to a student who thought Tito Puente was the former ruler of Yugoslavia (Marshall Tito). The hosts went on to suggest other world leader/musician combos: Don Ho Chi Minh, Ray Charles Taylor, and Lil' Kim Jong Il. I kind of like Lil' Jim Jong Il.
Well, game on.
Tony Blairnaked Ladies
Valery Giscard-D'eSting
Vladimir Putincubus
Andrew Jackson 5
SugarChurchill Gang
Fidel Amitri Castro
Charles Mugabe City Rollers
Jacques Chiracpile
Pervez Musharroffspring
Abraham Lincoln Park
Jean Chretienya
Tony Toni Tone' Blair
Al GWAR
I'll try to think up some more.
Late entries from Sam Goldberg:
Nat King Helmut Kohl
B.B. King Abdullah II
Yassir AraFat Joe
Ariel-Supply Sharon
50-VinCente Fox
Jay-Zemin
Beyon-Tse Tung
HirohiToto
Saddam Hussein Clown Posse
OutCastro
Mikhail GWARbechev
Friday, January 02, 2004
Wow.
I fear that all these signatures will merely be like specks of... I don't know, something....in, like, a breeze.
I fear that all these signatures will merely be like specks of... I don't know, something....in, like, a breeze.
Wednesday, December 31, 2003
I Review Books for a Large Internet Bookstore.
Here were some of my favorites of the past year:
this one
this one also
and this
this one was good too
I liked this one
Oh and this one.
But this one was just terrible.
Here were some of my favorites of the past year:
this one
this one also
and this
this one was good too
I liked this one
Oh and this one.
But this one was just terrible.
We Got Out of Town for Christmas
To Sequim, which is on Washington's Olympic Peninsula. Rented a house, tried to get away from some or most of the seasonal insanity. Sequim is also home to the Olympic Game Farm, a sprawling stretch of land which houses yaks, llamas, zebras, buffalo, elk, and reindeer which you can feed from your car as you drive through, nervously. There's also lions, tigers, bears, coyotes, and wolves in separate facilities. Peacocks and rabbits roam about freely.
Well, we were there on the 26th at like 9 am right as it opened. We bought ten bags of bread ($5) and then drove around to feed the animals. Here's the thing: the place was closed on Christmas Day and we figure it was pretty sparsely attended on Christmas Eve. So while we're sure the animals were fed, they probably weren't given that sweet touristy junk food in like three days. So when we got there, it was like driving into the worst part of the inner city with hundred dollar bills and free handguns taped to our car. The animals were all over us. Blocking the car, bumping into the windows, and staaaaring. We got out of their two hours later having given all the bread we can. When we returned to Seattle I had to go through a special car wash to remove yak spit from the car's exterior.
To Sequim, which is on Washington's Olympic Peninsula. Rented a house, tried to get away from some or most of the seasonal insanity. Sequim is also home to the Olympic Game Farm, a sprawling stretch of land which houses yaks, llamas, zebras, buffalo, elk, and reindeer which you can feed from your car as you drive through, nervously. There's also lions, tigers, bears, coyotes, and wolves in separate facilities. Peacocks and rabbits roam about freely.
Well, we were there on the 26th at like 9 am right as it opened. We bought ten bags of bread ($5) and then drove around to feed the animals. Here's the thing: the place was closed on Christmas Day and we figure it was pretty sparsely attended on Christmas Eve. So while we're sure the animals were fed, they probably weren't given that sweet touristy junk food in like three days. So when we got there, it was like driving into the worst part of the inner city with hundred dollar bills and free handguns taped to our car. The animals were all over us. Blocking the car, bumping into the windows, and staaaaring. We got out of their two hours later having given all the bread we can. When we returned to Seattle I had to go through a special car wash to remove yak spit from the car's exterior.
Thursday, December 18, 2003
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
Meet The Mariners
The team I'm psychologically abused by on an ongoing basis, the Seattle Mariners, acquired two new players yesterday: Quinton McCracken and Scott Spiezio. Kind of non-descript as ballplayers but it turns out they're kind of interesting.
This from the story on McCracken, "McCracken, 33, was a double major at Duke University, graduating in four years with degrees in political science and history." And this on Spiezio from the newscast on KUOW yesterday, "Spiezio was quoted last night as saying, 'I've always loved Seattle. It's the birthplace of grunge, you know. I've always liked the town, the stadium's awesome and the fans are pretty dang cool.' Spiezio is a switch hitter and plays in a band named Sandfrog.
The team I'm psychologically abused by on an ongoing basis, the Seattle Mariners, acquired two new players yesterday: Quinton McCracken and Scott Spiezio. Kind of non-descript as ballplayers but it turns out they're kind of interesting.
This from the story on McCracken, "McCracken, 33, was a double major at Duke University, graduating in four years with degrees in political science and history." And this on Spiezio from the newscast on KUOW yesterday, "Spiezio was quoted last night as saying, 'I've always loved Seattle. It's the birthplace of grunge, you know. I've always liked the town, the stadium's awesome and the fans are pretty dang cool.' Spiezio is a switch hitter and plays in a band named Sandfrog.
Thursday, December 11, 2003
I'm Being Sued by the Dr. Seuss Estate
Well, I hope not. But it's more possible than it was a few days ago.
I had a commentary/sketch on NPR's All Things Considered on Monday. It's written as a letter from Max, the Grinch's dog, to the Grinch after the Grinch has turned nice. And Max isn't happy about it.
Also, I had a story on NPR's Only A Game (a weekly sports show) this past weekend about Shana Heavey, a 16-year-old dwarf, who plays on the varsity lacrosse team at her school. That story is located here:
Listen if you like.
Well, I hope not. But it's more possible than it was a few days ago.
I had a commentary/sketch on NPR's All Things Considered on Monday. It's written as a letter from Max, the Grinch's dog, to the Grinch after the Grinch has turned nice. And Max isn't happy about it.
Also, I had a story on NPR's Only A Game (a weekly sports show) this past weekend about Shana Heavey, a 16-year-old dwarf, who plays on the varsity lacrosse team at her school. That story is located here:
Listen if you like.
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
WOW!
I just heard that GWAR has endorsed Howard Dean. This is really big! Oh, wait...it was who? Oh never mind.
I just heard that GWAR has endorsed Howard Dean. This is really big! Oh, wait...it was who? Oh never mind.
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