Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Don't Make Me Hate You, Caribou Coffee

O, I am vexed. And I've written about this before.

Here's the deal: Caribou Coffee (the big local chain) has a deal going in the morning where if you buy a large 16oz coffee and a muffin, the muffin is only a buck. This means that a large coffee and a muffin ends up being cheaper than either a small 12oz coffee and a muffin or a medium 16oz and a muffin. Now, I don't want that much coffee. I don't want to be tempted to drink that much coffee because I would be a mess. But I want the savings.

So I ask to get 12 ounces of coffee but to be charged as if I had bought a large (namely, less money). After all, this nets the store 8 ounces of coffee that they can then sell to someone else. But aside from the occasional willing barista, most employees simply fail to grasp what I am asking or why I want it to happen. "But this way you get more!" they say.

Today, I asked if I could at least get the large coffee poured into a MEDIUM cup, so I could at least get tempted by 4 fewer ounces. "Well, how about I pour that much coffee into a LARGE cup?" the woman asked, blinking.

"I'm trying to help all of us here," I promised. Give me less coffee, charge me the lower rate, you get to keep more coffee and I get the amount I want.

Unless: "Are you just trying to get me more hooked on coffee? Is that what this is all about?" I asked. She said yeah, she thinks it is. Finally she consented to the medium cup and went and poured it and "made a mistake" and poured a large. So if I'm a mess all day, the blood of my nerves is on their hands.

"Why don't you just pay the extra money, accept it as screwy, and get on with your life?" asks my boss. But I guess I'm just not like that.

**

7 comments:

Steve Brezenoff said...

Maybe ask for a large half caf? Everyone wins?

OnOneCondition said...

You could say:

"I'd like a large coffee with enough room for four onces of sugar, milk and sugar."

"I really like sugar."

Glenn Fleishman said...

I'm onto you, attempts to super-size me.

Bekah said...

You should take the large coffee with the cheap muffin, doctor it up however you like it, and promptly dump 4 ounces out...either into the sink, a drain, or the parking lot. Just an idea. Or ask for "room" they usually totally rip you off by only half filling your cup when you do that! :D)
~ bitter seattleite

Kate said...

I'm just not like that, either. And my suggestion was exactly what OnOneCOndition said. You're still getting more cup than you need, which is wasteful, but at least the barista can understand leaving room at the top since that's something other people ask for. You're just asking for lots and lots of room.

Jane said...

John, you need a new coffee shop.

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