Thursday, March 27, 2003

Some of the Reasons I Have No Future In Hip-Hop
1. Proposed rap: "Goin' to that store to rent myself a VIDEO/ Maybe watch Mark Harmon star in DA PRESIDIO!"
2. Proposed rap: "Sittin out in da hotel FOYER/ Tryin' to catch a glimpse of Jamie MOYER"
3. I would be likely to call Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliott by her nickname every time. "Would you like some punch, Misdemeanor? You wanna play volleyball, Misdemeanor?"
4. I would pronounce the non-existent "r" in "Timbaland". "Hello Timberland! Would you like to join Misdemeanor and I for some cake?"
5. Proposed rap: "I mourned the death of Carroll O'CONNOR!/ I sensed he had a lot of HONOR!"

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