Monday, May 11, 2009

Algebra

"If you tell me x, I WILL FIGHT YOU WITH MY FISTS!"

What does x equal?

For me:
x = Jay Leno is better than David Letterman
x = anything in pirate vernacular
x = there hasn't been any good music made since (fill in any year or era)
x = you are guaranteed to lose any fight involving fists




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6 comments:

Sornie said...

Agreed. Jay Leno is where comedy goes to either be so stupid that a pile of garbage would laught at it or simply dies.

Mary P. Traverse said...

x = that Episodes I-III are in any way better than Episodes IV-VI
x = "I can't be a bigot, I have (gay/black/minority) friends..."
x = that Papyrus is a pretty good font
x = that Comic Sans is a pretty good font
x = that the new Battlestar Galactica isn't as good as the original series
x = that you don't care that Velociraptors were not technically the size that Crichton portrayed them in Jurassic Park
x = that Sand is a pretty good font

Kate said...

x= any request worded as a statement ("What time it is! I can go to the restroom.")
x= "Jane Austen is chick lit" (When said to my "reluctant readers" who are actually enjoying it)
x= "I'm not like those whiny people who take anti-depressants"
x= "You should really listen to Glenn Beck"
x= "You're Catholic, you should _____"
x= "I don't use deodorant. It's evil. Patchouli is natural."

nancymcjensen said...

x = Andy saying "What? I said I'd be home between 8 and 10. You said come home whenever. It's 1 am. What's the big deal? Why are you still up" grrrr.

Heather said...

x = I'm really not ready for a relationship (where y = I never suggested that I WANTED a relationship, YOU asked ME out, you douche!!)

Jane said...

x="I left my job because it was too much work. I'm thinking of going into teaching because that'll be way easier."

x="Let's get together. I want you to read some of my poetry and tell me what you think."

x=you think everyone loves your scruffy malodorous dog slobbering all over everybody