Tuesday, January 30, 2007

A Conversation with Charlie (Age 6)

HIM: Dad, what are zombies?
ME: Well, zombies are these made up creatures and they're supposed to be dead people who come back to life and they walk around trying to eat brains.
HIM: Yeah. We play zombie tag at school sometimes.
ME: How does that work?
HIM: Well one person is it and they're a zombie and if they catch you you're a zombie.
ME: But aren't they always slow?
HIM: Yeah. It's hard for the zombie.
ME: It always is.
HIM: So zombies are just pretend monsters?
ME: Yep. They're make believe people who die and then come back to life.
ME: What? Uh...
HIM: He died and came back to life! DID JESUS EAT BRAINS, DAD?!
ME: Well...
JILL: It does sound a lot like what you said about Jesus, except for the brains part.
ME: Well...uh...
HIM: I'm just kidding, Dad. I'm pretty sure Jesus was just made up.
Goldilocks and the Three Tigers (by Charlie, Age 6, part two of a three-part series)

Once there was a little girl named Goldilocks. Her house was so boring so she went for a walk out in the woods. There was not many trees in the forest so she thought it would be safe.

It was very dark in teh forest. She was frightened.

She came to a cottage. It was very fancy. She walked inside.

Goldilocks found three bowls of meat. When she was about to eat them three tigers walked in.

They quickly divided her into seven pieces. And they ate her all up.

The end.

(coming soon: the final story, Goldilocks and the Three Bears, which, I am advised, is for older kids)

Monday, January 22, 2007

Goldilocks and the 3 Lions by Charlie (age 6) (part one of a series)

Once there was a little girl named Goldilocks. Her house only had one thing: a fireplace that only lit up for one second. It was very boring.

She walked and walked until she got to Africa. She found two of the biggest trees to rest under. She rested for hours and hours.

She found herself on a table on a plate. She had a feeling she was being watched.

She was being watched by 3 lions. It was very frightening. The rope was so tight she couldn't even move a millimeter.

They quickly divided her into 11 pieces and put them on the the table and ate her all up.

The end! (gulp!)

Coming soon: Goldilocks and the 3 Tigers!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

How You Know When You Took The Right Job

So I start Monday at my new job. I was down in Los Angeles on Monday for a meeting and saw the big board of possible stories. One of them was "Van Halen 3rd Singer".
"You're interviewing Gary Cherone?!" I asked.
"We want to," my new boss told me.
I've come to the right place.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

I'm On The Radio!

Yeah, I know but this is slightly different. If you missed any of my readings for the book I wrote (did I mention I wrote a book?), you can hear the Elliott Bay reading tonight at 10 on KUOW here in Seattle. Or on kuow.org on the Interwebs. I'll post a permalink for it when I get one. I've had nothing to do with the editing aside from providing the weird picture posted here.

Thursday, January 11, 2007


Regarding the Apple iPhone or Apple Phone or, as I've now seen it described, the Jesus Phone or J-Phone: yeah, I'm in. I'm so in. I. Am. In. And it sucks to be a Zune right about now.

Monday, January 08, 2007

A Conversation About Music with Charlie (age 6)

(we're in a pickup truck, waiting our turn to drop off a load at the dump and we're listening to "Superman" by R.E.M.)

HIM: This song is about freedom.
ME: What? It is?
HIM: Yeah. Well, he says "I am, I am, I am Superman and I can do anything". It's about being free.
ME: Oh. Yeah. I guess it is.

I had always thought it was about Superman. Charlie spent the rest of the day singing the song but changed the lyrics to "Pooperman" because it's funnier that way.

Friday, January 05, 2007

I'm in Spin

I keep forgetting to say something about that. The Pop Song Correspondences are things that Spin says they love. I don't think it's in the online edition. You have to find a copy of Spin, then open it, then find the page that I'm on and...oh just forget it.
Arrested Development gone

but Michael Cera doing just fine.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Big Change

Well, for me anyway. I guess I always knew I was a woman but now with surgery...


I've decided to leave "some radio station where I work" for a new position as Senior Reporter and back up host at Weekend America. I'll still be based in Seattle. We're not moving. The new job is going to be a fantastic opportunity but not altogether brand new since I've been working on that show for the past few years. Still, it's going to be hard to leave some radio station where I work (okay, KUOW!, there! I said it!), which has been a great place to be for the past five years.

Update: Media pounces!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

A Question About Being Employed at Uptown Espresso

When you're a young woman and you come to work at Uptown Espresso, is it a requirement that your boyfriend is forever parked at one of the tables and must give you frequent backrubs?

Because that's how it seems to work. For many, many of you.

(Also, and this has nothing whatsoever to do with Uptown Espresso or boyfriends or backrubs, I'm about to announce something fairly significant in my own life, probably some time tomorrow)

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

How to Cook a Turkey, by Charlie (Age 6)

(This was for a class assignment)

1. Find a turkey. Kill it, of course.
2. Cook at 100 or 110 degrees for an hour and two minutes.
3. Add salt.
4. Make all the bones stick out.
5. Eat it!