A Question About Being Employed at Uptown Espresso

When you're a young woman and you come to work at Uptown Espresso, is it a requirement that your boyfriend is forever parked at one of the tables and must give you frequent backrubs?

Because that's how it seems to work. For many, many of you.

(Also, and this has nothing whatsoever to do with Uptown Espresso or boyfriends or backrubs, I'm about to announce something fairly significant in my own life, probably some time tomorrow)