The Darker Side of Today's Events
They're pulling down the Saddam statue. Some 19-year-old private from Alabama, all loaded up on fervor and MRE carbs, gets up there with an American flag and puts it over Saddam's head. Wolfowitz sees it on a live feed and grabs the phone and yells, "Get that flag off there you knuckleheads!" In many parts of the world, that's going to be the picture that runs on the front page and justifies anti-AMerican sentiment around the world. Thanks a lot, kid, thanks a lot.
When I started writing this one, I was really heading toward a joke. But somehow I never got there.

The Lighter Side of Today's Events
Don't you think we should all learn to dance like people in the arab world when they're happy? That up and down thing? We need more of that. A new Beastie Boys record has been released? Up and down dancing! The Utah Jazz lost? Up and down dancing! Beverley Hills 90210: The Motion Picture? TONS of up and down dancing!