Friday, February 22, 2008

Oh well hello old friend

Good lord, it's been since last Saturday? Well then:
1. Early on in this blog's life, I kind of felt it necessary to sort of blog In Character, you know? Be arch, be snide, be above it all. But now it's just talkin'. Oh, I'm still snide and arch and above it all from time to time, but I come by that sincerely now.
2. Thing is, Obama is just running a better operation. They haven't panicked once. Dude used to organize GOTV efforts in Chicago. Dude's a Chicago politician. Some would argue Obama's got better positions, some would say the same about Hillary, I'm not saying that about either one, but he runs better plays. It's like football. They're both good quarterbacks, but one of them happens to also be a brilliant head coach.
3. I drove from Seattle to St Paul in a little over two days. It was me, a loaded minivan, and Fuzzy the hamster. First night we reached Billings, MT. Second night was harrowing, driving through North Dakota at night when THERE ARE NO TOWNS FOR MILES AND MILES and therefore no lights along the freeway. And through parts of it, Fargo for example, the temperature was 20 below. 20 below. Such things happen, evidently.
4. We stopped in Fergus Falls, MN that night, a few hours north of St Paul. It was 15 below. Here's what you do in that situation: run from the van into the hotel. Run. Get the room. RUN back to the van, get the hamster, and RUN back in when no one's looking at the fact that you have a hamster.
5. I ate at Applebee's that night. It was packed. In 15 degree below zero weather. If 15 below happened in Seattle, buildings would explode, people would physically shatter apart, newscasts would be nothing but shrieking for 30 minutes straight. This would not be an illogical response or even an incorrect one. Mastering living in Minnesota will involve carrying on with life as if these temperatures are acceptable. That's what I've done with rain most of my life. Okay then.
6. The lady at the hotel in Fergus Falls used the term "Uff Da" unironically.
7. Reached Twin Cities, dropped Fuzzy off at the sitters, put stuff in the new rental house, soon headed to airport to fly home.
8. Numbered lists make you feel like you're getting somewhere, even if all you're getting is to the end of the list.
9. I've got to stop ripping off John Hodgman's technique of CAPITALIZING things for COMIC EFFECT. But the thing is, it WORKS.
10. I spent much of the van trip listening to cassette tapes of my college radio shows. Which was PAINFUL.

3 comments:

Scott Chicken said...

1. If you want painful let me know and I'll transcribe the final "Bison and Big Head" columns from the Pio, December 1989.
2. Never seen 15 below. It was 13 below in Walla Walla one winter ('88/'89, I believe). Went to 7-11 to get milk, and being a dumb college student I didn't wear gloves. Luckily, the milk kept my hand warm on the walk home.
3. Glad you survived North Dakota!
4. These number things rule. I'll have to steal that idea too.

jane said...

And why were you punishing yourself with your college radio shows? Some kind of closure? Are you going to write a story about them?

Christopher said...

Feh, 15 below. We used to get -40 in E-burg (factoring in the wind-chill, which you HAVE TO DO in E-burg), which, on a couple of memorable days back in '80 I believe, made us the coldest spot in the Lower 48 that year.

What is -40 like? Well, for one thing, your breath instantly sublimates into ice crystals the nano-second it exits the 98 degrees of the inside of your mouth. Then it lands in your beard and moustache, where it stays frozen until you go inside, at which point it instantly turns to water and drips down your chin.

And breathing in -40 air feels like, well, sort of like breathing in volcanic ash (something I've also done in E-burg), only much, much colder.

-40 is so cold, that, if it were you're only option, you'd stick your head inside a refrigerator, just to get warm...