Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Friendship

You know how when you read a certain book or listen to a certain record, you just get it so much that you feel like the author or musician could be your friend? Like you just totally connect with it and if circumstances were different you could be pals and meet them for breakfast from time to time or have them over for barbecue or go to a ball game and stuff? That's how it is with some people I interview at some radio station where I work. I'll interview them, we'll get along great, we'll have something in common even, and I just want them to become friends with me.

But you can't really say, "Hey, wanna be friends?" as they walk to the lobby after the interview. Because that's weird. And maybe they actually really would want to be friends but it's just not the time or place or method for that to happen. But then it doesn't end up happening. They walk out the door, out of your life, and the world gets no warmer.

9 comments:

Stop it! said...

No. I don't know what you mean.

Ben said...

You had me at, "Hey."

Ian said...

You mean, "the world gets no warmer except for the slow but inevitable temperature increase due to atmospheric buildup of 'greenhouse gases' such as carbon dioxide."

susansinclair said...

It's the Seinfeld episode where Jerry "courts" a new friend (a baseball player, I believe) all over again. Finding friends after a certain age is like dating. Or at least I used to say that until I started dating again.

tina said...

Yes, that's a bummer, all right. It's so awkward. To make a new friend as an adult with someone you don't see on a regular basis is so difficult. You practically have to have a sort of full-on Romeo and Juliet moment, I think.

Kevin Guilfoile said...

Wait a minute... What do you mean it doesn't end up happening!?! You interviewed me, we had something in common, and we became friends. Aren't we friends? Do you mean we're not friends!! What the f*ck John! Are you breaking up with me? Is that it? Is this post some kind of code for you're breaking up with me? I don't believe this. And to read about it on your blog. Cripes.

I want my Cure MP3s back.

john said...

Hey Kevin.
Aw baby don't be like that.
You know what we have is something special.
I'm talking about other authors, baby, not talking about us.
You know how it is, Kevin Guilfoile. I've been under a lot of pressure lately. With work and all.
Don't be like that, Kevin Guilfoile.
Where you going?
Wait!
Hey, has anyone seen my boom box and Peter Gabriel tape?

Sean Nelson said...

it's so much worse when you actually take the risk, give them a CD, pass them a note. as if being alive weren't embarrassing enough.

Kimm said...

Yeah, I totally know what you mean. Then someone wiser than I pointed out that there's really nothing to lose by making an effort to be friends anyway even though it's awkward. I started to laugh it off as useless advice and then I remembered the brief period of time I was famous myself (sure, it was exciting places like El Paso and Omaha but hey, same principles still apply, just on a smaller scale) and I realized that it gets harder to make real friends, not easier when you're that well known.

So now when I do feel a sense of connection I try to act on those impulses instead of second guessing whether the other person wants to know me better or not. I figure they can tell me. It might not always work but then again, sometimes it does and then it's worth it.