Friday, November 18, 2005

A Conversation with Charlie (Age 5) and Kate (Age 3) About Responsibilities

CHARLIE: Dad, when are we going to get the new baby? The adopted baby?
ME: Well, we have no plans to get one. We've never even looked into that. So I guess either a long, long time from now or never.
CHARLIE: You and Mom will take care of the adopted baby and Kate and me will take care of the rest of the house.
ME: Really? That sounds great. So you'll do all the cooking?
CHARLIE: We'll need help with that.
ME: And cleaning? You'll clean the house?
CHARLIE: No, we can't do that.
ME: Well what exactly will you do?
KATE: towels.
CHARLIE: We'll wash the pet whale!
ME: Pet whale? We don't have a pet whale.
KATE: Whale!
ME: And I don't think it would need washing anyway, what with the swimming.
CHARLIE: Then Kate and me will have giant scary eyeballs and WATCH everything in the house!
KATE: Eyeballs!
CHARLIE: Dad, who has no eyeballs?
ME: Well, I don't--
CHARLIE: I know! The earth! THE EARTH HAS NO EYEBALLS, DAD!
KATE: Eyeballs!

5 comments:

tina said...

Goddamnit.

You can't...you can't make up a conversation like that. It's too...it's...

Goddamnit.

john said...

Well, it's all true. And yes, it's whimsical. But I keep worrying, what if they're actually insane people?

The Creative Death said...

Haha...Charlie has a point...the earth does not in fact have eye balls.

dup said...

It's Kate's use of one-liners that's killing me. "Towels." That's natural, folks. Comedy like that can't be taught out of no book.

John said...

I think you should set up your kids with their own blog. And I think it would be amazing.