Friday, May 28, 2004

New Iraqi Leader Chosen

I find this one to be pretty puzzling. Granted, she has her own unique style and everyone seems to really like her. And of course, the fact that she comes from humble beginnings will make her more empathetic to the average Iraqi citizen. But I'm still disappointed that Fantasia Barrino has been named the new prime minister. I hope they at least let her finish the summer tour. Obviously Jon Peter Lewis would have been a much better fit.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

A Conversation With Charlie (Age 3) In The Car Last Night (Joined Midway Through)

HIM: So we need to get another Lion King video that isn't scary.
ME: Okay, well, we'll look for that.
HIM: But I don't want to watch Brother Bear cause that's scary too. That's a little bit scary, Dad.
ME: Yeah, let's not watch that.
HIM: But you can watch it.
ME: Okay, I'll put it on my list.
HIM: You and mom can watch it. After I go to bed.
ME: Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.
(long pause of about 30 seconds)
HIM: Dad! Dad!
ME: What?! What is it?
HIM: Are we real?

Got a thing on the McSweeney's site.

Topical. Sort of funny. It's here.


Monday, May 24, 2004

Ah, Now THAT'S Some Swedish Drama

If you haven't already, please become aware of Strindberg & Helium

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Dear Person Ahead Of Me In Line At Starbucks,

You are, what, 20? You will have so many muffins over the course of your life. It doesn't really matter which one you pick this morning. So just pick one. Okay?

Love,
John

Monday, May 17, 2004

I Don't Often Link to George W. Bush's Website...

But this is pretty funny. Here is his "Compassion Photo Album". And it's, like, mostly of Bush touching, assisting, and lurking around black people. The Health Care section is mostly him hanging out with health care workers and sick people, the Social Security section is him making speeches about the issue and hanging out with old people but Compassion is, evidently, mostly about black people.
The LA Times had some fun with this.

Sunday, May 16, 2004

Paradigm Shift

So I saw this woman on the street talking to herself and just assumed that she had one of those wireless cell phone head sets on. Nope. Crazy person. Good job wireless headset marketers, you've repositioned societal assumptions!

Friday, May 14, 2004

The Cruise Authority is a Waffler!

Which is it, Cruise Authority? Right or Left? And more importantly, do I get a discount if I do both?

Erroneous Sussiptions

So my 3-year-old son Charlie is trying out the word "suspect" but he chooses the very alt pronunciation "sussept" as in "I sussept I want to watch a video". Here was our conversation in the car yesterday:

HIM: Dad, I sussept that butterflies have small wings and bees have big wings.
ME: Well, I think it's the other way around. Bees have very short little wings and butterflies have really big long wings.
HIM: No, I sussept bees have long wings.
ME: You know who has really long wings? Dragonflies.
HIM: I sussept dragons turn into dragonflies. Dragons turn into dragonflies, Dad.
ME: Oh. Does butter turn into butterflies?
HIM: No. That's silly.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Oh, I'm Sure You've All Seen This...

But it is pretty funny. (thanks to the estimable C-Diddy).

Friday, May 07, 2004

But Stupid People Might Not Make It Through The Article

Jacob Weisberg of Slate has come under some criticism over the years for his cottage industry of "Bushisms". And while it's certainly true that written transcripts of things expressed verbally can make most people appear stupid, this article in Slate takes the whole "Bush is stupid" issue quite a bit deeper. Good reading. You moron.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

In Other News...

Baseball's integrity is somehow besmirched.

Monday, May 03, 2004

The #1 Choice
Eli Manning was the first overall pick in this year's NFL draft. Almost won the Heisman trophy. But now he faces a tough choice: accept the fame and riches of football or pursue his passion for web design?