This was really on the Associated Press today

A 24-year-old man who led Snohomish County sheriff's deputies on a bizarre chase through the Evergreen State Fair on was seriously hurt when he tried to jump aboard a moving train.
The man, a fair employee, was seen on the midway Tuesday afternoon smoking "an unknown narcotic" from a glass pipe, a sheriff's spokesperson said. He was fired on the spot.
The man attempted to steal money from another carnival worker, then went to a women's restroom, where he exposed himself.
When deputies arrived, the man put on his pants, took off his shirt, and fled through a window in one of the restroom's stalls.
He groped women as he ran, then scaled a chain-link fence to U.S. 2, where he attempted to steal a car from a woman.
When that failed, he ran across the highway to a train and tried to jump aboard, even though it was traveling about 45 miles per hour.
He was knocked back by the train, and was airlifted to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle with multiple fractures. He was reported in serious condition Tuesday night.
When he's released, he'll likely be charged with indecent liberties and attempted robbery.