The Rocky Roll Band In Which I Sing...

Now sells stuff. I like the trucker hat.

Take Care of the Children

So I'm in this Seattle area hot dog place. Only other customers are a woman reading People magazine and her son, about six years old. He announces that he needs to pee really bad and wants his mom to come with him. She doesn't even answer. He reiterates his need. She tells him that the bathroom is right there. She asks him to please go with her. Then his Dad comes in, meeting them for lunch. He just rubs his wife's back while she reads People. Son asks Dad to come with him to the bathroom. Dad refuses. Kid's going crazy. Meanwhile I'm sitting there with a hot dog in a room where the only topic is URINE.
At this point, sentient and sensible parents will maybe realize that the thing to do is to take your kid to the friggin' bathroom as there are people trying to eat around there who really don't want to hear about pee anymore. Maybe a decent parent would think that maybe there are other people in the place.
So I took my hot dog and walked to the door. And I stopped and said "You know, maybe some people would rather eat their hot dogs without having to hear about urine. I sure wish you'd do something about that in the future."

(shudder)

there's this.

A Conversation with Charlie (Age 4)

HIM: Dad, what's your middle name?
ME: Erling.
HIM: (incredulous) Erling?!
ME: Yep. It was my dad's name. His first name.
HIM: Did he die?
ME: Yes, he did.
HIM: So now Uncle Rick is your dad.
ME: No, that's not how it works. Grandpa Moe is still my dad.
HIM: Oh. How so?
ME: He just is. You pretty much just get the one dad.
HIM: Can I be your dad?
ME: You? I don't know about that.
HIM: Can I? I'll be your dad! Do you think that's a good idea?
ME: Well...can I still be your dad, too?
HIM: Yes!