Pop culture and some news put through a filter of optimistic cynicism. Also, lots of vanity. And seemingly a great deal about children. More than some might expect.
Written by John Moe
Monday, May 11, 2009
Algebra
"If you tell me x, I WILL FIGHT YOU WITH MY FISTS!"
What does x equal?
For me: x = Jay Leno is better than David Letterman x = anything in pirate vernacular x = there hasn't been any good music made since (fill in any year or era) x = you are guaranteed to lose any fight involving fists
x = that Episodes I-III are in any way better than Episodes IV-VI x = "I can't be a bigot, I have (gay/black/minority) friends..." x = that Papyrus is a pretty good font x = that Comic Sans is a pretty good font x = that the new Battlestar Galactica isn't as good as the original series x = that you don't care that Velociraptors were not technically the size that Crichton portrayed them in Jurassic Park x = that Sand is a pretty good font
x= any request worded as a statement ("What time it is! I can go to the restroom.") x= "Jane Austen is chick lit" (When said to my "reluctant readers" who are actually enjoying it) x= "I'm not like those whiny people who take anti-depressants" x= "You should really listen to Glenn Beck" x= "You're Catholic, you should _____" x= "I don't use deodorant. It's evil. Patchouli is natural."
Agreed. Jay Leno is where comedy goes to either be so stupid that a pile of garbage would laught at it or simply dies.
ReplyDeletex = that Episodes I-III are in any way better than Episodes IV-VI
ReplyDeletex = "I can't be a bigot, I have (gay/black/minority) friends..."
x = that Papyrus is a pretty good font
x = that Comic Sans is a pretty good font
x = that the new Battlestar Galactica isn't as good as the original series
x = that you don't care that Velociraptors were not technically the size that Crichton portrayed them in Jurassic Park
x = that Sand is a pretty good font
x= any request worded as a statement ("What time it is! I can go to the restroom.")
ReplyDeletex= "Jane Austen is chick lit" (When said to my "reluctant readers" who are actually enjoying it)
x= "I'm not like those whiny people who take anti-depressants"
x= "You should really listen to Glenn Beck"
x= "You're Catholic, you should _____"
x= "I don't use deodorant. It's evil. Patchouli is natural."
x = Andy saying "What? I said I'd be home between 8 and 10. You said come home whenever. It's 1 am. What's the big deal? Why are you still up" grrrr.
ReplyDeletex = I'm really not ready for a relationship (where y = I never suggested that I WANTED a relationship, YOU asked ME out, you douche!!)
ReplyDeletex="I left my job because it was too much work. I'm thinking of going into teaching because that'll be way easier."
ReplyDeletex="Let's get together. I want you to read some of my poetry and tell me what you think."
x=you think everyone loves your scruffy malodorous dog slobbering all over everybody