A Conversation with Charlie (Age 5) and Kate (Age 3) About Responsibilities
CHARLIE: Dad, when are we going to get the new baby? The adopted baby?
ME: Well, we have no plans to get one. We've never even looked into that. So I guess either a long, long time from now or never.
CHARLIE: You and Mom will take care of the adopted baby and Kate and me will take care of the rest of the house.
ME: Really? That sounds great. So you'll do all the cooking?
CHARLIE: We'll need help with that.
ME: And cleaning? You'll clean the house?
CHARLIE: No, we can't do that.
ME: Well what exactly will you do?
KATE: towels.
CHARLIE: We'll wash the pet whale!
ME: Pet whale? We don't have a pet whale.
KATE: Whale!
ME: And I don't think it would need washing anyway, what with the swimming.
CHARLIE: Then Kate and me will have giant scary eyeballs and WATCH everything in the house!
KATE: Eyeballs!
CHARLIE: Dad, who has no eyeballs?
ME: Well, I don't--
CHARLIE: I know! The earth! THE EARTH HAS NO EYEBALLS, DAD!
KATE: Eyeballs!
Goddamnit.
ReplyDeleteYou can't...you can't make up a conversation like that. It's too...it's...
Goddamnit.
Well, it's all true. And yes, it's whimsical. But I keep worrying, what if they're actually insane people?
ReplyDeleteHaha...Charlie has a point...the earth does not in fact have eye balls.
ReplyDeleteIt's Kate's use of one-liners that's killing me. "Towels." That's natural, folks. Comedy like that can't be taught out of no book.
ReplyDeleteI think you should set up your kids with their own blog. And I think it would be amazing.
ReplyDelete